Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Patola di-Nueve

OK, di ko gawain ang pumatol sa Blind Item but THIS is just too fuckin' steamy juicy to let it pass!

So inabutan ko si @nubadi at si @mac09callister on a "Chwirrer Orgy" about THIS POST IN FASHION PULIS


Needless to say di ko napigilan ang sarili ko sa pakikisawsaw!!!


At habang binabasa ko ang maiksing post e unti-unti dahan dahanng bumabagsak ang aking panga:




NKKLK!!!!

NINE INCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! Tumitiklop ang tonsils ko iniisip ko pa laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggggggggggggggggg!!!

At ang nakakaloka pa lalo.... ITO ANG PUHUNAN!!!




JUSKOPO, para sa isang Celebrity Star Athlete na di-nueve ang patola!?!?!?! PWEDE NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!


Ang daming speculations dun sa blog kung sinetch itechiwang Athlete na itey.... Now I'm not one to make accusations BUT, let's just say, for the sake of the argument, that the COMMENTS IN THE BLIND ITEM was right (assuming! not saying that it is in reality, the truth) Hindi ba mapapabili ka din ng BB para dito!?!?!?!



Ano, telag ka na? Di ka pa kuntento? Heto pa!!!



O may mag-aparisyon na ganyang hombre sa kusina mo, hindi ka ba mapapakuha ng EGG BEATER ng di oras????



Check out all that BAKED GOODS, just makes you wanna take a BITE! RAWR!!!



Sabay titingnan ka ng GANYAN kainit!?!?!?! Jusko ko kuya, pilik mata mo lang ang di dadapuan ng BITE MARKS!!! RAWR!

Tapos lalapitan ka...



... ng dahan dahan!!!



IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!



Sabay bulong ng...



"Honey...



BREAKFAST IS SERVED..."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Deadma na sa kubyertos!!! KAKAMAYIN KO NA TOH!!!!!



At kung di pa spontaneously nalulusaw ang undies mo, PWES! heto na....

HAPPY FIESTA!!!!



SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!

And if that's not enough.... THE Money Shot:



PEOPLE! The Anaconda is no longer in the Amazon!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!

*     *     *

To Neil's people, please don;t get offended, laman lang po talaga ng wet dreams naming mga bakla itong si koya. ansarap lang nya!

And personally, don;t really care abt the Blind Item, we've heard worst shit about other guys.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Commuter Cutie 048: Blonde Nordic God Hotness

Well.... well... well...

Our Chief Correspondent from the European Bureau emailed me some weeks ago and had a MAJOR Cutie report...

Ito ang sabi ni CC:



Natawa ako sa "Hellen Keller" peg ni Ate! bwahahaha Bakla kang tunay!!!

Bibitinin ko muna kayo ng slight, si Koya 1 muna ang ilalabas ko, kei? hahaha

Actually, feeling ko para sa post na ito, kelangan kong baguhin ng sligt ang namesung... Hindi nababagay ang "Commuter Cutie" kasi they go waaaaaayyyy beyond CUTE!

check him out:



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

PAK NA PAK!!! Juskopo!!!

Toldja! BEYOND CUTE!!!! Kung affam ang market mo teh... naku, ito na yun! magpa-stud ka na ng malahian ka!



SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Sana ang mga nakakasakay ko sa public transport e ganyan din kaga-gwapo noh!!?! Ganda ng bone structure... ang pino ng ilong, ang chin saktong sakto... ang mga matang nangungusap na parang gustong sabihin... "Malinis ako at dalisay.... TURUAN MO AKO NG KAMUNDUHAN!"

bwahahahahaha!

Juskopo! baka makasuhan ako ng acts of lasciviousness and indecency pag nakasakay ko ito sa bus! Magpapanggap akong namamlimos, maglalagay ng envelope sa lap nya sabay KANDONG! hahaha

AND THAT HAIR! HOMEYGEHD! NAKA POUT PA!!!!

WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I just died!

Good Job CC!

Excited Beki for Headshot Clinic

I got a very exciting email yesterday:


You read it right bitchez! I'm gonna be part of Niccolo Cosme's Headshot Clinic 4!!! yey!

Of course I'm super excited to be shot by Niccolo Cosme! I mean, have you seen his works? BRILLIANT! One day when I'm old and not-so-fresh anymore I'd look back at my Niccolo Cosme photo when I was 27 23 and tell my grand kids, "Kala, nyo mabenta dati tong baklang to, oh check niyo! KABOG!"


hahahahaha!

Kidding aside, this also means a lot to me.

See more than a year or so ago, I decided to get hold of my life, that was then at a downward spiral, and by some fortunate coincidence, I bumped into the right people and stumbled upon things that would (and I say this rather prematurely) have probably set me on the right direction towards the fulfillment of my journey.

Headshot Clinic was one of those things that had a really big impact on me.

This was the first time I participated in HSC, read about it here.

Anyway, this week is gonna be real busy so I'll probably leave things here.

More things are coming up and I'm just excited for everything to unravel. :)

MWAHNESS!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Men's Pole is finally back!

Can I just say, I feel like a giddy school girl excited to parade around in her new uniform and pig tails on the first day of pre-school!?!?!

Yes yes yess!!!! Polecats Manila brought back Men's Pole Workshop at laaaassssssssttttttt!!!!

And YES of course I enrolled! DUH!

It's like going to school. New classmates, new teachers, new tricks (but, to quote Doc John, "Same old bitches") hahahaha.

Say Hello to our teacher, THE Amazeeeng AJ Bautista:


Photos by Troy Espiritu

He recently placed 1st runner up in the 2011 Aerial Performance Tournament, Pole Category held in HK

At kung nanood kayo ng Polarity I'm sure kilala niyo sya sa performance na iteklaboom:




HUWOAH! kabog davah!?!


And look, NEW CLASSMATES, weee!



OK, so not EVERYONE is new half of the guys came from the other Pole Workshop. but hey, dami kaya namin! dati parang 6 lang kame :p

Anyway, our dear friend, Troy tagged along and took some fantastic photos so now, may visual aid na ang pag ispluk ko ng mga kung anik anik.

The first class is a lot of review from the past 4-week Men's Pole Fitness Workshop. Was it easy for me? HELL NO! It's a bit easier now (thanks to muscle memory) but it's still hella challenging! That's why it's considered a work-out, I guess.

Wouldn't it be ironic if Pole Fitness actually makes a MAN out of me?

...

NOT! hahahaha

So, basics first... LIFT

photo by Troy Espiritu

Sarreh naman, automatic na napapa-POUT akyembang....

Take two with virginal emote:


photo by Troy Espiritu

O di ba? Dalisay effect! lol

Task no 2: CLIMB!



photos by Troy Espiritu

This wasn't actually taught during the first 2 workshops, I guess coz it's traditionally a girls' climb. But WTH, I find it easier to climb like this than just pulling myself up with my arms... hello! walang BICEPS!

Then hang on to the pole as if... wala lang, keri mo pa magkape, magtsaa-tsaa


photo by Troy Espiritu

O di ba, kabog? lol

Then other type climb, Palo Sebo lang ang peg:


photo by Troy Espiritu

Seriously feeling ko after nito wala ng bahay ang di ko kayang akyatin... so! yung mga gwapo jan,,, naku, mag-lock na kayo ng bintana! lagot kayo sakin. CHOS! hahahaha

Trick No 1: FLAGPOLE

Ay kabog! nagawa na yan before! So from here:

photo by Troy Espiritu

We go ZHING!

photo by Troy Espiritu

Ganda ko lang, neng! chos

Trick No 2: Spider-Man

Nagawa na din yan before, pero teh, katakot pa din.. Imagine paa mo lang at kili kili ang nakakapit sa pole. Ok lang sana kung ung buhok sa kili kili e kayang pumulupot sa pole para wiz malaglag!

Anyway, wala akong pic ng trick na yan, so ito, ang aming muse na si Duds ang magde-demo:

photo by Troy Espiritu

O di ba, all smiles pa. bakas na bakas ang ligaya ng paglalambitin at pagsabit sa kanyang mukha!

And last trick: SPIN

photo by Troy Espiritu

For some reason, I can't spin this time the way I used to.. Feeling I was overthinking it a little coz I used to be able to spin quite nicely.... hmmm....

Then THIS WEEK, they taught us to do shoulder mounts (which I still cannot do! I blame the wimpy arms! I swear it will be the death of me)

Mayayabang ang mga classmates ko, lahat sila nag shoulder mount sabay boomerang. HMF (inggit, insecure ang bakla. lol)



At dahil jan, Brass Monkey naman ang panglaban ko (dalawa pa kami ni Pau):



It all sounds difficult, I mean talking about it so technically and matter-of-factly. The truth is it's all fun and games to me. REALLY! I take it seriously, of course (maybe not as seriously as I take yoga) but I think of it as a really PHYSICALLY CHALLENGING GAME. Otherwise, it becomes too tedious and it loses its charm.

Falling, being a little sore, bruises, it's all part of it. It won't kill us, but we have to go through them to do the task... Just like life :p (mehganun bigla)

Anyway, I think Troy's photos pretty much captures the spirit and energy of the class:









Oo, ang gaganda namin at ang sasaya! Not to mention, magaling kumuha ng larawan itong si Troy lalo na yung ganyang mga candid (pramis!!!)

So isa munang group pic ng mga kagandahan:



PAK! KABOG!

Day 2:

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Commuter Cutie 047: Bad Boy Biceps Cutie

Feeling ko ang pagkakaroon ng short attention span ay isa ng common trait ng mga bekbek. ANG BIBILIS MA-DISTRACT PAG DUMAAN NA POGI!!!



Huli ka James! BWAHAHAHAHAHA KAGAT LABI PA!!!

Anyway, kasalukuyan kaming nagpupulong nung mga panahon na yan... alam mo na, kailangan planuhin kung paano ipapalaganap sa buong mundo ang KABAKLAAN! chos!

hahahaha.

Pero wiz!

Ang meeting ay paputol putol dahil ang Team Judgment captain ay mega chika with Bad Ass Biceps Cutie:



Shempre kunwari I was paying attention sa pinagmi-meetingan namin di ba? Pero in truth, sumasagot lang ako ng "Yeah, I totally agree!" or "Great" or "Chika na yan!" while TRYING to take a decent photo of Mr Bad Ass Biceps Cutie



Matangkad... maputi... at nakatayo!... ANG BUHOK! (Mga malisyosa kayo! tseh!)

Check na check ang vorta ni kuya, arms pa lang pwede ng isahog sa pizza! Lagyan ng Alfalfa at balutin ng tinapay at KAININ ala Dear Darla (Oo, nasa Yellowcab kame ng mga panahong ito)

FINALLY nakakuha din ako ng malinaw-linaw na shot:



YUMMMMEEEEHHH!!!

I swear she got us beckies swooning! hahahaha

Especially with an impish, naughty smile like THIS:



JUSKOPO! nakakatunaw! Yung mga tingin na ganyan na akala mo e may iniisip na kalokohan beneath that handsome freshness fez!

HOMEYGEHD!!!!

tsalap tsalap tsalap!!!
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