Thursday, March 31, 2011

BB: Beached Bek-bek

Sa loob ng kotse, humirit si H, "Dapat kasi ang babasahin mo, yung mga blog tungkol sa lugar, hindi ung wbesite, para malaman mo kung ano ung experiences nila sa bakasyon nila"

Me: "So ibig sabihin walang kwenta ang blog ko dahil tuwing may aura waley namanchi akez pinopost shungkol sa mga rates, how-to-get-there eklavu. puro mga ka-vekleran lang"

H: "E yung blog mo naman kasi e yung tipong pag nabasa mo habang nasa office e nakakatanggal ng stress kakatawa"

At dahil jan, hindi ko kayo bibiguin!

Noong nakalipas na weekend ay um-aura akyembang kasama ang isang pulutong ng mga bekbek-friendly friends (hindi po sila mga becky, pero malapit ko na silang ma-convert! hahaha)

Bonggang bongga ang aura ng mga vekler 3D2N Zamabales-Bolinao aura! Winner lang!

I won;t bore you with the details of the trip (pero kung bet ma-knows ang mga kwento, clicksung lang sa LINK NA ITEY and check out my Tumblr!!!)

Ang mga mini-vacays, hindi niyo naitatanong, aside from being a good way to distress is also a good way to...

HANUPABA, e di CAMWHORE!!!!

Simulan na natin ang rampahan!!!


o di ba? uma-art lang! malupet na kuha ng jowa ni H. Magaling si koya mahilig lang mag-delete ng mga pichurs! nakakalowka!

ISA PA!


Hindi talaga ako makakatiis ng hindi ginagawang malaswa ang isang mahusay na pictorial. hahaha!


Actually, di naman siya malaswa NAKAKAHATSING LANG! Hachoo! Hahahaha! Nahatsing ka din ba?

Nakakaloka! Bawi tayo:


PAAAAKKK!!! Bakla sa BAKAWAN!!!


At ang pinaka-paborito ko...


PHAAAKKKK!!!! dahil idol kita Solenn! hahahaha

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Marami pang kasunod! ABANGAAAAANNNN!!!!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Commuter Cutie 022: First ever live-blogging for Commuter Cuties

MGA BAKLLAAAAAAAHHH!!!! I'm so vack with a vengeance! (O di ba? parang Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah lang!)

Mejo matagal bago ako naka-recover sa napaka dugo kong post last time. jsusme, mejo parang napiga ang mental juices ko dun noh!

Just this morning, someone asked me in Formspring kung kailan ako magpopost ng Commuter Cutie (demanding na bakla!) and then this cute guy I met in PR (yes, I'm talking about you! I know you're reading this :p) was kinda asking the same thing.

HAY PRESSURE!

Kasalanan ko ba na mejo tagtuyot ang kakalsadahan ng Maynila sa mga cuties? Ano naman ang gagawin ko, mang-raid ng mga subdivisions at villages, gyms, at mga salons para maka-sight ng mga vorta at wafu??? (Actualy not a bad idea :p)

So anyway, I was kinda having a bad day today. KAINES, may mga lakad na di natuloy at mga aura na wit na maki-kiyemburlat.

In my frustration, I just decided to make tambay in CBTL and you know, pretend that I'm burgis (ay sorry, bourZWAH pala! hahaha) drinking overpriced coffee while FB-ing and checking messages sa PR (hahaha! BAKIT BA? sorry na lang ang tumingin sa monitor ko noh! mga chismosang froglet!!!)

So there I was, namamakla online when from the corner of my perfectly lined eyes ay naka-sight ako ng yumminess:


HELLO HELLO HELLO! Chinitong Mabango!

Ay susme, my fallopian tube was all a-flutter!

Akalain mo nga naman!!! Talaga nga nama si Universe, just when I was feeling down, pinagkalooban ako ng isang napaka gwapong distraction

haaaaaayyyyyy...

isa pa nga!


Hihihihihihi!!! Hindi ako masyadong mahilig sa mga chinez... but then again, tatanggihan ko pa ba? CHOZERS! hahahahaha

Hay naku, madaming kasama si koya (puro mga chaka) at mukang may importanteng pagpupulong sila sa CBTL kaya naman mega serious siya (which kinda adds more to the cuteness factor), tingnan niyo oh:


Hay juskopoooo!!! I just overheard them talking about IT shit that I cannot understand! Haaaayyyyy cute mabango-looking nerdy guy! SHET! SHET!!! SHET!!!!

As of press time, ako'y nakaupo pa din sa CBTL, pinagmamasdan siya, at lingid sa kaalaman ni kuya ay nanditey na siya sa blog ko. hahahaha. O DI BA??? Ito ang first ever Commuter Cutie live blogging!

Hahahahaha!

GAAAWD, I'm so creepy, I creep myself out! hahahahaha. Juskopo wag naman po sana akong ma-blotter nito.

Last na!


hay grabe!

Ok masaya na ako, wit na ang Stress Drillon. :p

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dreams about Exes never turn out good

WARNING: This post is rather graphic and a little disturbing. Read with discretion

We were in some sort of dorm - pretty similar to the one I used to stay in back in college. We were sleeping side by side in our bed.


I was awoken by a boner and my ex playing with it. “Be,s&x tayo.” he said. I turned my back to him and we started frothing fooling around. Potashet and hot lang! He still knows his stuff. When he was just about to dip it in, I said, “suot ka ng condom.”


“Bakit?” sabi niya, galit, “Hindi naman tayo nagco-condom dati ah!”


SIDEBAR: This, by no means, encourage anyone to practice unsafe sex. Personally, I won’t do it with someone unless I see test results that he’s clean. See post about this here


“Hindi na tayo, hindi ko na alam kung san na nanggaling YAN, kaya… condom”


He started laughing. It was a mean evil laugh. His eyes were gleaming and his laughter filled the little room. “Bakit, kala mo ba ikaw lang ang ka-sex ko dati?”


POTAH! Nagpanting ang tenga ko, “ANO!?!?!”


Dumungaw kami sa labas ng bintana, maraming dumadaan na lalaki. He started pointing at some of them, indicating who he has slept with, who he has bottomed for WHEN WE WERE STILL TOGETHER.


I was outraged! FACK FACK FACK!



We were screaming at each other now, I can no longer remember the things we said but there was a lot of anger, a lot of shouting. I was puffed up with indignation and outrage! How can he do that to me? And I was such a fool believing that in the 2 years we spent together, despite our many arguments and mishaps, we were, at the very east, LOYAL.


And now a year after we broke up, he slaps me in the face with infidelity.


I went to a very small closet and pulled out all of his shit and started throwing them at him. He was laughing madly, eyes big and ablaze oozing with meanness. His laughter was deafening


I was walking on a road, much like UPD’s Acad Oval, under one of the trees is Happy, she’s with her friends, busy with something I cannot recognize. With them is one of the guys I’m crushing on (Haha, I won’t name names na lang :p). He was sitting in one of the tree roots looking absolutely cute in the midday sun. I was just about to rant about what happened when there he was again, my ex. And this time, he was lying down with his head on my crush’s lap, being slutty and caressing my crush all over.


He was looking very mean and smirking at me.


I couldn’t take it anymore. I lost all control and pulled out my small bedroom mirror (I don’t quite know from where) and with its sharp corner, I started stabbing him in the gut, I stabbed him with all the anger, the hate, and the all the shit he put me through; for fucking up our relationship, for intentionally screwing everything so that I would be the one to break it off, for being such a coward. I stabbed him till his intestines were hanging out of his belly. As a final volley, I smashed the mirror on his head.



He was dead. But his eyes were still mean and they were still gazing at me. His cruelty will not end even after his death.


I hated him even more. The anger was just overpowering, it engulfed me completely.


I realized, then, that my ex was just made of cardboard. SO I tore his face off and with my lighter, I set him on fire. For a moment I watched as the flames lick his body and knowing that that’s only foreplay he’ll ever get now.



Happy, her friends, and my crush were there watching, and very much non-reactive.


I walked out on all of them


It was then that I woke up, my lashes glued together from the mascara I forgot to remove the night before.


Gaaaaaah

Monday, March 7, 2011

Commuter Cutie 021: Zaturnnah Cutie

So nasa CCP kame nung weekend to watch Zaturnnah.

At siyempre dahil CCP yun at ang palabas ay Zaturnnah (ang pambansang dulang musikal ng mga Baklang Pinoy) natural lang na umalingasaw sa bango at gliters ang CP that night. In fact, sa likod lang ng CCP ay may LGBT Bazaar! Bongga lang di ba?

Anyway, pagpasok pa lang namin ng little theater ay kitang kita na ang postura ng mga veklers: may mga fasyon, may todo muk-ap (guilty ako dun), at syempre ang daming mga pa-mihn!

JUSKOPO! muntik na akong mag-Linda Blair sa pagikot ng ulo at sa dami ng mga masa-sight!

IN FACT! may tatlong gwapong conyong bekbek ang tumabi samin. NAKAKALOKA LANG! syempre pagdaan nung pinakagwapo, nakatalikod sya sa akin. muntik ko ng kagatin ang matatambok niyang monay! WAHAHAHAHA!!!

During the intermission, kahit hindi ako naiihi ay nagpumilit akong mag CR dahil for sure parang DIVISORIA ang CR ng CCP! hahaha

And true enough pagpasok ay BULAGA! ANG DAMING BEKBEK! mga nakapila sa cubicles and all nagpapanggap na hindi suma-sight ng mga kapwa vekler at palihim na sinisilip ang noches ng mga nasa katabing cubicle na kay tagal magwagwag! juskopo parang walang pila!

As in grabe, LANG gusto kong mag-Carmen Miranda, magsuot ng mga prutas sa ulo, ilabas ang maracas at sumigaw ng FIESTA!!!


Pero syempre di ba ang dyahe lang maglabas ng phone at magkukuha ng mga tao sa CR, baka magulpe ako, or worse, baka magkaron ng orgy! hahahaha KIDDING!

So anyway, wala naman talaga ako MASYADONG balak kumuha ng Commuter Cutie bilang humaling na humaling ako kay Cheeno Macaraig but then nung nakapila na kami to get the lead stars signature and photos eh may nasight akong kuya na nakaupo sa lobby away from all the cam whoring action.

Napahawak ako sa kamay ni Karen, at napapunas ng bibig sabaw bulong ng YUMMMMEEEEHHHH! SLURP:


Siya ay matangkad, matipuno, makinis, at mukhang mabango at malaman.

Gusto ko siyang budburan ng kamatis, sibuyas, hilaw na manga, at saka lantakan!

Wala sa aura ni kuya ang nagco-commute pero dedma na teh. Kapag hinain sa lapag, dapat di tanggihan ang grasya.

Amen.

Musings of a Meditating Drag Queen (MMDQ) 02: OO WALA PA RIN AKONG BUFRA NYETA!


Kapag nakakakita ako ng mag-jowang badaf sa mall, sa kalsada, sa sasakyan – kahit saan, bilang amoy na amoy naman sila at ang iba ay talaga namang mega PDA – nais ko silang harapin dalawa at sabihang, “Maghihiwalay din kayo! TSEH!”


Tikman mo ang pait!


Hindi sya maganda, alam ko. Sabi ko naman GUSTO ko lang gawin, hindi ko pa siya actually ginawa ever.


Wala ako nun eh; wala akong ka-holding hands, wala akong kahalikan sabay sabi ng "babay, ingat!", walang naghahatid sakin at lalong wala akong hinahatid, at wala akong kayakap sa gabi (minsan), malas lang ng taumbayan at may pagka-inggitera ako. Hmf!


Although, I'm pretty sure hindi ako nag-iisa. I am yet to meet someone who is single and can honestly say that s/he is perfectly happy being unattached and won’t have it any other way.


Wag ka nang mangahas na tumutol, tataas lang ang kilay ko at sasabihan ka ng “GIGI-ERA!”


For some reason na hindi ko alam, it is human nature to LONG FOR affinity and human connection. So tigil-tigilan na ang pagiging “I’m single and I’m loving it”


OK, impokrita ako, kase madalas kong sinasabihan ang sarili ko ng “Bakla, di mo kailangan ng bufra. Titi lang yan, di nauubos ang titi sa sangkamaynilaan, much more sa buong mundo”


Pero syempre, ang totoo nyan, katulad ng nakararaming bakla, e hindi lang nman titi ang hanap ko. Iba din ang sayang dulot ng may kapiling sa buhay, yung parang extension ng sarili mo, yung magkaroon ng lalaki na (or in our case, to be more specific baklang lalaki na) hindi ka iiwan magunaw man ang mundo.


SHET! Ang sakit lang sa ulo, kei!


The mere idea of finding that person is actually quite overwhelming. Jusko, e yun nga mismong kadugo mo na, minsan di mo matiis gusto mong talian ng bato at itapon sa ilog (joke lang family! I LAB U mwah!) e yun pa kayang taong hindi mo kaano-ano at ang tanging nagbibikis sa inyo ay ang napaka-ambiguous at hard to define na tali ng “pag-ibig”


May pamilya at may mga matatalik na kaibigan, pero hindi mo naman sila pwedeng maka-sex di ba? (eeewwww lang, although may ilan na may kakaibang “arrangement” sa mga maTALIK nilang kaibigan – ayoko pong maging judgmental, kanya kanya na lang tayo pagdating jan!) And aside from the sex part parang iba pa rin ang “romantic love”.


I don’t know, call me a hopeless romantic but I find it REALLY amazing: meeting a complete stranger and having a very strong bond with them that eventually you become FAMILY.


CHAROT! Nakakadiri, parang hindi ako! Ano ba yan!


Madalas kong binobola ang sarili ko na ang ganda ganda ko, na ako na ang baklang reyna na may golden Elizabethan gown, at hindi ko kailangan ng “King” to rule my kingdom. Pero alam ng mga kaibigan ko, at lalaong mas alam ko sa sarili ko na panggi-gigi lang iyon.


Kanina while having coffee with Lester and JR, nagtanong si Lester, “Kelan ba tayo magkakaron ng boyfriend, che?”


Hindi ako nakasagot.


Coz, truth be told, I honestly have no idea as to WHEN it’s gonna happen.


On one hand, who said that I gotta have a boyfriend immediately after I broke up with the last one? Well, having an immediate replacement sure has its conveniences, but I feel like jumping from one relationship to another LIKE THAT (snaps fingers here) is not really very healthy.


I think the point – or at least MY point – is that the important thing about coming out of a relationship is LEARNING from the experience and probably taking the opportunity to KNOW ONE’S SELF DEEPER (too profound for a catty, tacky, camp-crazy fag like me, I know, but well, there you go).


So, I’ve been single for a little over a year (one year, two months, and nine days to be exact as of press time – CHAR!). It’s a little sad, sometimes even depressing, but I guess that’s just how it is. Di ko pa naman siya ikamamatay so keri lang, hanap-hanap lang ng Rainbow at slide lang ng slide dahil masyadong masaya at makulay ang buhay para mag-dwell sa mga nakaka-depress na baagy.


Iniisip ko na lang, every day that pass by, I have to be grateful for having more time to reflect and look deeper into myself. Every single day that passes by is a day spent forging deeper bonds with dear friends and family who I may have scrimped on quality time when I was still in a relationship. Each day of unattached freedom is an opportunity to have fun, mess around, enjoy singlehood, make mistakes and learn from them. And most of all, it’s an opportunity to reflect on appreciating the value of a relationship so that when the right time (and the right person) comes, I’d be able to take care of it even better than the last time.


So yeah, di ko alam kung kalian ako magkakaroon ng boyfriend ulit. Maybe next week? A month from now? Maybe next year? Or maybe I’d have to wait a couple years more… (Slightly nakasimangot ako sa last option. Hmf!) All I know is, when the time comes, I’m sure I’ll know. And when I finally meet him, I know I won’t let the opportunity just pass me by.


So for now, magmamaasim muna ako, ki-kiyembot at magsisigaw ng “TSEH!” kaliwa’t kanan sa tuwing makakakita ng gay couples.


Sisimulan ko na now:


"TSEH!"

Saturday, March 5, 2011

May readers pala talaga ako, noh?



I was helping out a friend in a book launch several weeks ago. I was talking to Kai about my "Brahmin" look for the event (I was actually making fun of myself, as usual. hahaha) when she introduced me to JC, the marketing guy of Fully Booked. And he asked me (I think) "Ikaw si Oliver Loyola of the Becky Broadcast? I read your blog!"

Shet, natameme ako for a while at nawala ang aking mga witty remarks! Nakakaloka, may nagbabasa pala talaga ng blog ko!

As it turns out, JC is also a blogger (he's the guy behind The Man Beauty Department) and he so kindly featured my Brahmin outfit in his blog:

photo grabbed here
Thanks JC!

* * *

Then just last night this cute guy I met in PR (well, no, we haven't actually met yet - but I mean, you know, met him there) messaged me and said that he stumbled on my blog and that napatawa siya sa Commuter Cuties.

heeheehee. Nakakatuwa lang.

* * *

Back when I was new to blogging, I wrote this bit about gender bending. and posted this video i found:


Imagine my surprise and DELIGHT when yesterday morning I woke up to find a message in FB from no other than Amnesia Sparkles herself (or her very cute alter ego Adrian)!

A told me (in so many kind words) that he stumbled upon my blog and that he wanted to say thanks and hi!

Potahshet kinikilig ako! hahahaha

Check out his blogs:

* * *

I started blogging back in 2009. I was (considerably) an invalid for 2-3 months, unable to stand up, or sit down. I had nothing to pass the time but my laptop (then an HP Pavillion, I miss her na) and some good old internet connection. It was my ex who gave me the idea of doing my own blog (as a joke and a challenge) ... so here I am.

Whenever I write something, I still feel like I'm just talking to myself, hence the no-holds-bar things that I write. I guess that's why, up until now, it still feels a little surreal whenever people tell me that they read my blog. And whenever they do, di ko alam kung mahihiya ba ako or matutuwa knowing all the shit I put out there :p

Still, very grateful that people share my stories and craziness with me.

Love you all!


Making New Memories Project Part 1: MULI - Zsazsa Zaturnnah


Makalipas ang humigit 2 taon, muli kong napanood (kagabi lang) ang Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah ze Muzikal!

HONGGONDOH OH! Walang CHISMIS sa fezlak! hahahaha CHOZ!

Mejo nagbago ang stage nila this season and there were also different faces in the cast (compared to the last time I saw it).


Eula's playing lead again, and like last time, she's MARVELOUS! She's like, sexy as ever. Though I feel like her voice was a little strained last night, her vocals are still very VERY good. She was even adding some nice riffs and variations here there. Amazing! This time, Gabe Mercado was playing Didi. I find him really cute and adorable, though not really very believable as a Parlorista's assistant (And also, he blundered his line a couple of times during the show, which I think is rather... pffft). I kinda missed Nar's performance the last time I saw it and I'm kinda guilty of raving about him to my companions all throughout the play. I don't know, I love Gabe, but I love Nar more for this part. Tuxqs was also playing Ada (last time it was Vince). He was really good, sayang lang coz there were some problems with his mic and we weren't able to hear everything all the time :P


Kalila was playing Queen Femina and like last time, she was fantastic. Can't believe her voice! Kaloka! at ang sexy lang nya, kei? Lord bakit? BAKIT ang daming grasyang napunta sa kanya, ha? :p


Model Red Anderson was also playing Dodong. ANG SARAP LANG NI KOYA, KEI? Napasigaw ako ng "akin na ang rice!" nung naghubad si koya. KALOKAH! AT in fairness kay kuya, MAGANDA ANG BOSES NYA! (I think better than the last Dodong I saw, Lauren Novero) Though I think he's got to work on his acting a little bit more, I find him a bit stiff pa.

Nakakatuwa din ang mga Amazonistas. Panalo ang gags ni Sharon C at ni Dina B (Wilma). I also love the performance for the role of Nora A, ang lukaret lang! Mejo nabitin lang ako ng konti sa vocals ni Vilma S (maybe because I got used to the original cast album version) but sa kanyang "acting" bit (yung sa intro) ay bentang benta!

There was this one cast member who's got a really amazing voice, I failed to catch his name, but he was the "heavy" guy who opened "Magsasalpukan Na". GANDA LANG ng boses!

May isang member ng chorus na mula umpisa pa lang e di ko na maialis ang aking malalagkit na titig:


Ayon sa playbill, siya si Cheeno Macaraig. Potah ang cute lang ni kuya! As in! Mejo 5'4" lang sya pero teh, nung nagsuot sya nung angel costume with the short towel lang sabay gumiling... WALA NA! laglag, durog, lusaw na ang panty ko! May costume si koya sa "Magsasalpukan" na naka tattered thigh length denim shorts! SHET ang ganda lang ng legs ni koya. At sa finale na "Superhero ng buhay ko" lumabas siya with this other guy from the chorus at NAGHALIKAN SILA! SUSME ang sakit! (feelingera lang!) Kaya naman mega lapit ako after the show para magpa-pichur with him at wag ka, UMAKBAY SYA!!!! SHEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTT hindi ko na sana iiwan kaso baka isuplong nya ako sa pulis. hahaha.

Dear Cheeno, kung nababasa mo man ito, nais ko lang malaman mo.... I LAB YOU!

(sinampal ang sarili)

OK... nasa katinuan na ulit ako.

While I was reading the playbill, I was surprised to see the name "Marco Viana" (sorry walang enye sa laptop) and I saw a familiar face:

photo grabbed from his FB, sorry Marco!

OK, di kami close, and I'm pretty sure he don;t remember me, but I remember him. Back in 2006 when I was still working in Makati and Gen was helping coach some kids in Mapua for a play called "Romeo Labs Juliet" e pinakilala sakin ni Gen si Marco (in passing) Of course, kilala niyo naman ako, I never forget a cute guy :p. He played the Romeo in that play at ngayon ay nasa Zsa Zsa Zaturnnah na sya. Naalala ko siya na lumabas sa Finale as one of the gay couples. Too bad, when I realized it was him, he was no longer in sight so wit kaming picture.

All in all, the restaging of Zaturnnah was, as always, very entertaining and still very heartwarming.

Hindi ko napigilan ang luha ko sa "Pakibuksan ninyo ang Puso niyo". I may have been a little more fortunate at hndi ako nilulublob ng tatay ko sa drum ng tubig nung kabataan ko. But the feelings of being "not good enough because you're gay" totally resonates with me. Iba-iba man ang mga kwento nating mga bakla, naniniwala akong may pagkakatulad (kundi man iisa lang) ang mga pinagdadaanan natin

Hindi ko mapigilan ang maka-relate nung kumakanta na si Didi ng:

Ada, bakit pati sila ay lumuluha?
Dahil ba pag pumanaw na ako
Ay wala na silang pagtatawanan?

Mga baklang sentimyento na, sa unang bagsak ay mejo matatawa ka dahil napaka balahura pero sa kaloob-looban nito ay nandun ang mga hinagpis ng isang bakla lumaki at nabubuhay sa isang lipunan na ang turing sa kanya ay isang malaking JOKE.

Sa "Superhero ng buhay ko" ay sabay sabay na nag "awwwww" ang tatlong gwapong conyong baklita sa tabi namin. (As in ga-gwapo nila, kei. at masarap!) Ikaw na ang haranahin ng isang matangkad, gwapo, maskuladong, at, higit sa lahat, BUSILAK na Dodong, lukaret ka lang kung umayaw ka pa, di ba? Kung pwede lang na maraming mga Dodong para sa mga Ada ng sangkabaklaan, ang saya lang siguro noh?

The good news is, mahirap man humanap ng Dodong, hindi naman tayo nauubusan ng mga Didi. Kaya't masaya ako na sa pagkakataong ito ay dalawang pinakamatalik na "Didi" ang kasama ko.

Hanggang sa sususnod na paghahasik ng kabaklaan, mga teh.

AT, tulad ng sabi ni Didi, "MABUHAY ANG MGA BAKLA!'

Kung di mo pa napapanood ang Zaturnnah, e bakla anuba! labas na sa closeta at sugod na sa CCP, kei?

I leave you guys with some videos I found on Youtube showing the cast's performances for a Press Con at Bed, Malate:

@00:02, yung naka pink na hoodie ay si Cheeno! I LOVE YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU!!!!


@00:02 the cute kid assisting Pinky is Marco
In fairness kay Pinky, ang bongga pala bumirit ni ate (a much better fit than Agot, I'm sorry)

Commuter Cutie 020: Job hunting Cutie

AMININ NIYO, namiss niyo ito!

Pwes kung hindi, ako na-miss ko!

And now that my blogging is back to full swing (and I've figured out a way to take photos discreetly) muli na naman aarangkada ang paborito ninyong Commuter Cuties!

Sa aking pagbabalik, I wanna feature the second contribution to CC; this time, coming from a very dear friend, Gen. While she was in job interview (kung saan magkatext kme all morning na akala mo ay career coach ako :p tseh!) biglang naisingit ang isang kasama sa app process.

Ganito teh ang text sa akin ni bakla: "Teh!di ko kinaya, ang gwao ng katabi ko, kei?"

I swear, I think I've rubbed off too much of myself to these girls! haha! Siyempre mandatory na makunan yan ng picture, ang mga ganyang pagkakataon ay di pinapalampas:


Ito ang description ni bakla (and I swear, hindi ito galing sakin):

- mabango!
- maputi at makinis
- higit sa lahat! check na check ang vorta!

Gen, ikaw na ang bading! :p

Let's zoom in and see if there's some ounce of truth to it:


HOHANOSANKAAAAAHHH!!?!?!

Sarap! Mejo malabo lang pero mukhang keri!

Mmmm pampabuenas!

kei next time ulit.

Dear readers, if you have Commuter Cutie moments, wag mag-atubiling i-text ako or i-email ang mga stalker snapshots nyo. tseh!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Blogging hiatus is over!!!

Some of you guys might have noticed that my blog wasn't getting updated as often as it used to.

To those who are interested to know, my old lappy (Dell Inspiron 1440) got so much porn it broke down gave up on me last year right before Christmas!

So for the past month or two, I've been using my mobile to surf (gaaaaaahhhhhhh kaloka sa liit) or, kung di na talaga makatiis, I go to the nearest quietest Net Cafe. Haaay so Poorita.

I'm so happy to bring y'all the news that those days are finally over coz now I've got a new lappy to replace my old Dell:


I'm soo lovin its brush metal finish and the minimalizt design (I don't have the actual photo, di ako magaling kumuha ng product shots :p)


It's still just a netbook (definitely no match to my Dell in terms of speed and power) but it's definitely fairly decent for a netbook. I love that it's 12 inches. I think I'd die of squinting with a 10" screen. Alam niyo naman ang lola niyo, always the SIZE QUEEN hahahaha!

I'm yet to subject it to the my normal laptop abuse though, I think, after going through 2 laptops (both of them suffering from major motherboard breakdowns) it's time I change my habits of laptop-use, right?

Here's to going back to downloading porn blogging! CHEERS!

My Drag Transformation

Batong bato ako nung isang gabi. Hindi naman ako makapanood ng Tv dahil eme-emote si yaya sa Sala at di ko na bet rumampa sa labas (minsan kailangan ko din magpahinga noh!)

Nagkataon na nung araw na iyon ay nakausap ko si Gen (isang make-up artist) at na-inspire ako sa mga make-up tips na tinuro nya sa akin.

At dahil jan, naisipan kong pagpraktisan muli ang mukha ko for future Drag Kiyemburlats.

Panoorin ang aking step by step transformation, kei?

KEI!

NOTE: BAWAL ANG JUDGMENTAL AT SELF-RIGHTEOUS! TSEH!

STEP 1:

Syempre start muna tayo sa default face noh? May muk-ap na ako nun kaya ganyan di pantay ang skin tone ko. wala ng pakilamnanan. bibili pa lang ako ng bagong gamit. Pag bongga na mga gamit ko, abangan niyo, ikot mga ulo niyo sa ganda ko. :p


STEP 2:

Ahitin ang facial hair. Duh! kailangan alisin ang sumpa noh! san ka nakakita ng babaeng may goatee? Well, OK lang din naman kung ang theme ay PERYA! hahaha!

Maswerte na ako at hindi ako balbas sarado, kundi baka additional 30 minutes pagtatago pa lang ng sumpa. hahaha.


STEP 3:

Patagin ang mukha. As in kulang na lang masilya ang gamitin.

Pati ang Kilay! importanteng itago ang kilay!!! Lalong lalo na ang mga chismis sa mukha! dapat mukhang flawless, or in this case, dapat mukhang nadapa sa isang banig ng espasol.

Again, patawarin ang funda na 3 tones lighter sa original complexion, kei?


STEP 4: EYES

Palaging inuuna ang mata. Wag niyo ng itanong sakin kung bakit. basta mata palagi ang una, kei? Siguro kasi para kapag may fall out na shaddow madali pang maitama. so yun mata muna.

Step by step din ang paggawa ko ng mata.

Alam niyo kasi ang sumpa ng mata ko, hindi sila pantay, isang hooded at isang mega crease so kailangan ang crease ng mata ko e mejo mataas. Basta!

For this look, ayaw ko nung usual na ginagawa kong BULAGA! BAKLA! mejo mas subtle ng konti, yung mapagkakamalan pang tao (na sana na-achieve) so ayan:

Una: Gray eyeshaddow sa lid:


Pangalawa, shimmery Purple base shaddow:

Kailangan ng kulay dito para maitago ang kilay!


Konting blue (na nung nagblend ay naging Indigo-ish) malapit sa crease:


At konting dark blue para ma-define ang crease:


Dark Gray ng ma-contour ang lid:


At silver sa inner corner ng mata:


STEP 5:

I-drawing ang kilay. Wala akong eyebrow pencil or color at hindi ko pa namamaster kung paano sya gamitin, so LITERALLY naka-drawing talaga ang kilay ko with a black liner, Hahahaha!


STEP 6: Blush and contour

Syempre dahil pinatag ang mukha dapat lagyan ng konting hubog at kulay. Mejo wash out sya sa screen ko, sana sa inyo hindi pero I swear keri yan!


STEP 7: LIPS!

Ayaw ko muna gumamit ng puta red lips para maiba naman, mejo nude-nude-an lang ang drama:


STEP 8:

Syempre bonggahan dapat ang liner. Makapal at nagsusumigaw tapos lagyan na din ng mala-pamaypay na pilik mata:


Dapat after nito ay hair and outfit pero wala ako hair sa bahay at tinatamad na akong mag outfit so let's skip to the best part:

STEP 9: ENJOY IT!


PAK!

>
PHAKH!!!
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