Saturday, September 4, 2010

Dating Skills: EPIC FAIL


I came over his place. It was a REALLY nice apartment-ish condo unit that's on the ground floor right beside the pool.

He was cooking dinner: Nilagang Baboy (yuck!).

He invited me to eat but I said I don't eat that stuff.

He had that Middle-Eastern look going on and a twang that's distinctly AmBoy.

We were watching The Soup on TV and we were laughing our asses off.

"I like your sense of humor," he said. "I mean, y'know, it takes brains to be witty."

I know, right?

He invited me for a drink but I declined. "I'm still nursing a hang-over," I said. He poured me a glass of white white, anyway.

Then all of a sudden we're hearing "Commander" blast through the TV speakers. IT WAS THE REPLAY OF MISS UNIVERSE!!!! eeeeeeeeeeppppppp!!!

He immediately plopped on the ottoman beside me.

Parade of National Costumes.

I was like, "What's up with Belgium's tennis dress?" and he's like, "Jamaica's hot, man!"

He sees me staring at him weirdly and he said, "Hey look, I'm not saying I'm BI coz I'm not confused. I mean, y'know if I gotta choose between a hot ass girl, and a hot ass man, I'll definitely go for the hot ass dude!"

Ok... noted.

I was trying NOT to drink the wine so I was drinking water in between sips. He, on the other hand, is already on his 2nd glass. "What's up with dat gown?!"

"It's New Zealand," I said

"Yeah, if you were in new Zealand, what would you wear to represent your culture?"

"Uh... grass and sheep?"

...and we burst in laughter.

"Man, we're so gay!" he said

TOTALLY!

We got to the top ten.

We still haven't eaten dinner

He started ranting about random stuff:

Racism, how it affected him when he was in the states. How Filipinos needed to experience that to be able to be proud of their own culture...

How the Filipinos have no strong cultural identity...

The stae of homosexuality in Philippines, how it's better and how it's worse compared to the States...

...

Oh god... This date feels like writing an essay

He was trying too hard to be smart and opinionated that he's starting to contradict himself.

We got to the top five.

He finished off my wine coz I refused to finish all of it.

During commercial breaks, he'd go to his laptop and check his messages in PR. "This is why I like being single... you don't have to hide anything."

It's almost 11:30 at night.

"Dude, I don't know how Mexico won with that answer," It trailed off, I was no longer paying attention.

I was TOTALLY getting bored. I already know Venus' answer by heart. The show's no longer as exciting as it was the first time.

And our conversation is steadily going down the drain.

In my head I was thinking, "Dude, I have to go home sometime, y'know"

"And the fourth runner up is..."

"Oh man, that 'major, major...' thing was just ridiculous..."

JUSKOPO hanggang kailan kami mag-gigigian!?!?!

...

"I mean, all the people talking about dat, I mean why can they se it's like Pacquiao vs Marquez in Las Vegas..."

...

Not making any sense

...

I wanna go home na

"I mean her answer's awful but, y'know, what she did was not easy..."

JUSKO TAMA NA ANG GIGIAN!

"So, do you wanna make-out or what?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

PS: mejo matagal na ito nangyari. bawal ang judgemental, kei?

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