Sunday, April 12, 2009

Tales from Beyond the Closet, Part 2: Growing Up

When I was young my mother would always tell me that I was smart. I couldn't play basketball if my life depended on it, they couldn't make me do anything physical and laborious, in short I was a pretty useless kid... but I was smart!

I couldn't do chores... but I was smart!

I can't do sports... but dammit I was smart!

My mother kept on repeating and repeating that until I finally believed her and I told myself that I was smart...

Among the cousins, I was the smart one... In the neighborhood, I was the smart kid, when we went to the province, I was the smart kid...

I was smart... until I went to school.

I went to this parochial all-boys catholic school in grade school. And back then, you were either a sports star, a genius, a boy scout leader, or a total spaz. Sports was totally out of the picture... As for boyscouting well, I was fat so NO. But the genius... I thought I could do genius... that is until I realized there were other kids smarter than I am.

Well, I got my merits and some honors here and there... but I wasn't the best. There was always another kid... and another... and another.. so the feeling instantly faded

And more and more, I fell into that obscure yet befitting category of a spaz.

When I got to the 4th grade, I had this classmate. and he introduced me to the wonderful world of the church choir...

Ahh the church choir, where we all hung out after classes to put on our best falcetto and imitate the Vienna Boys Choir and sing church music while being demoralized by scratchy-throated-verbally-abusive teacher.

I have found my niche... and at the same time, I've found friends; friends who have the same interest as I did: SAILORMOON

Before there was the Spice Girls, there was Sailor Moon... and we will play Sailor Moon after class and after choir practice on Wednesdays.

I remember it so vividly... while the others played sipa or dampa, we'd gather round talking about the Saturday's episode and we'd pick our characters... I was always Sailor Venus (yuh, I was malandi like that)

And while othrs were collecting NBA cards, I was at teh school gate buying banig after banig of Sailormoon cards!

Needless to say, those afternoons were my blossomming. I was 9 or 10, and I KNEW I was gay. I didn't really know what being gay was... but those feelings of being different now all boiled down to my being gay... and it was OK coz I had my own possie of gay kids who were JUST LIKE ME. We were 9-year-old kids in an all-boys school, and we knew we were the muses of the batch (hahaha)

Those were some of the most colorful days of my young life... I used to laugh a lot then... I forgot about what but those were good times

1 comment:

  1. when my mother visited me once she called me dumb, i guess she's right but damn i dont care anymore


There was an error in this gadget

Spread the Beckyness!


Blog Widget by LinkWithin