When I was young my mother would always tell me that I was smart. I couldn't play basketball if my life depended on it, they couldn't make me do anything physical and laborious, in short I was a pretty useless kid... but I was smart!
I couldn't do chores... but I was smart!
I can't do sports... but dammit I was smart!
My mother kept on repeating and repeating that until I finally believed her and I told myself that I was smart...
Among the cousins, I was the smart one... In the neighborhood, I was the smart kid, when we went to the province, I was the smart kid...
I was smart... until I went to school.
I went to this parochial all-boys catholic school in grade school. And back then, you were either a sports star, a genius, a boy scout leader, or a total spaz. Sports was totally out of the picture... As for boyscouting well, I was fat so NO. But the genius... I thought I could do genius... that is until I realized there were other kids smarter than I am.
Well, I got my merits and some honors here and there... but I wasn't the best. There was always another kid... and another... and another.. so the feeling instantly faded
And more and more, I fell into that obscure yet befitting category of a spaz.
When I got to the 4th grade, I had this classmate. and he introduced me to the wonderful world of the church choir...
I have found my niche... and at the same time, I've found friends; friends who have the same interest as I did: SAILORMOON
I remember it so vividly... while the others played sipa or dampa, we'd gather round talking about the Saturday's episode and we'd pick our characters... I was always Sailor Venus (yuh, I was malandi like that)
Needless to say, those afternoons were my blossomming. I was 9 or 10, and I KNEW I was gay. I didn't really know what being gay was... but those feelings of being different now all boiled down to my being gay... and it was OK coz I had my own possie of gay kids who were JUST LIKE ME. We were 9-year-old kids in an all-boys school, and we knew we were the muses of the batch (hahaha)
Those were some of the most colorful days of my young life... I used to laugh a lot then... I forgot about what but those were good times