Saturday, April 11, 2009

Tales from Beyond the Closet, Part 1: Childhood

When I'm in a new group, especialy when I'm the only 'mo in the group, I always get the homo interview.

Y'know, the kinda talk when they sit you down and barrage you with all this homo questions:


"When did you know?"


"Didn't you like girls?"


"How did you find out?"


blah blah blah


As if it matters... Well, of course, to me it's all history, but apparently it's interesting for them.


Well, my story is not dramatic, and god knows it's hell as boring... but alas, thanks to blogging, I can write all the shiz I want! (hahaha)

So here goes

* * *

I am an only child. The only one who can carry out the Loyola blood line (so they say).

My father was the eldest of 12 children; and my mother is the fiesrcest of five. Sadly, we didn;t got more of my mom's children-bearing gene so there you have it, no siblings for moi.

I didn't grow up in a priviledged setting. In fact, we were far from that. We were in a neighborhood of a humbler nature; where kids played with what they had and the adults struggled with what they can give up.

Nevertheless, I feel like I had a pretty normal childhood as one in our situation can have. I played with neighborhood kids, I got to watch GI Joe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Ghostbusters and He-man, and stuff.


I played the usual games of football (it's like baseball but you kick the ball instead), taguan (hide and sick), Moneky monkey, langit lupa, tumban preso, luksong tinik, patintero, I even played that dangerous top where it had nails to spin on! I was like every other kid!


It wasn't a very posh childhood but it was fun, nontheless. And fortunately for me, my parents REALLY adored me. So I got away with most of the stuff some of the kids in the neighborhood can only dream of. I won't lie, I was a pampered, little spoiled brat. I was forbidden to perspire for cryin' out loud!

Whenever I play outside, my mom will come screaming her lungs out: "BER! (that's what they call me at home - short for Oliver - how butch, right?) HALIKA KA DITO NG MAPULBUSAN KA! (Come over here and lemme powder you!)" Get the point?

Then when I started growing up, I started avoiding the company of the neghborhood guys... I just couldn't keep up with them... I couldn't run as fast, I couldn't jump as high... And they all started playing basketball and sipa, and well, I just couldn't get that game...

I guess, you could say those were the early signs.

I started hanging out with girls more... I remember sme of my best friends growing up was our neighbor who's a bit deaf/mute. We'd spend afternoons playing pretend... and piko (hopscotch), 10-20 (jumping over garters), and step-no, even bits of volleyball (although I really stank at THAT)

And then I distinctly remember thios story from Batibot: It was a story about a boy who liked playing with dolls. And he got picked on by his friends and by his father. He was forced to pla with his toy truck instead... He becamse miserable playing with it so he snuck the toy doll and kept it with him at all times. I'm not exactly how it got resolved all I know is the story ende with the message that it's OK to be different and it's OK to play with dolls even if you're a boy.

I guess the message kinda stuck... coz then I started playing with my cousin's Barbie. She's the bunso among us cousins and she got nifty stuff. And I remember that she's so messy she'd leave her dolls in shameful condition. So I'd pick em up, clean their faces, and then dress em up again and do their hair. Then I'd bring out my GI Joes and together, they make a happy couple!


I honestly don't know what "turned" me gay... was it an overbearing mother, or a cold hard-to-reach father, or was I just born that way? Seriously though I think it's the latter... Coz in fairness to my guy cousins and my father, they DID put some effort in turning me macho... I simply liked being powdered and pampered and being all soft and cuddly as opposed to sweaty and smelly...

I guess in the end, I was really inclined to be more swishy...

More tales from beyond the closet on my next post :D

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