Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Sign language has never been this HOTT

First featured here

Let's start off with the ugly bit: the performance is kinda dry, to be honest. I mean, there's a lotta room of improvement in terms of production value. I man, throw in some half-naked back-up dancers, some stage props and fancy lights and it woulda been perfection.

But as for the talent... well, let's just say there SO MUCH 'talent' to keep me awake tonight! (hehehe)

I simply get enough Michael Dimartino... he's just so... drool-worthy talented...

The way he moves is simply hipnotic and his body! ACK his BODY! lemme quote Didi from Zsazsa Zaturnnah:

Braso pa lang ay ulam na
bigyan mo 'kong tinidor at ng kutsara
Ang lalakeng ito'y pinapaikot at ikot
ang bahay bata ko!
Nakakatunaw ng laman, ay!
Nakakainit ng ulo

Yun lang. Ayoko ng magsulat, baka kung ano pa masabi ko at baka maaway pa ako.

Weathering the Storm (of stupidity)

Now that's the way to do it!!!

see related post

Monday, April 27, 2009

On Gender Roles in Homosexual Relationships

Palagi akong natatanong: "Sino ang babae sa inyong dalawa?"

At iisa lang naman ang sagot ko palagi, "Ay, mas malandi akoh!" Oo, may "H" yung 'ako', kasi nga malandi nga ako.

In fairness naman sakin, pinangangatawanan ko naman ang statement kong yan....


Actually, misleading ang huling statement, kasi ko naman siya 'pinangangatawanan' by choice. Malandi lang talaga ako. PERIOD.

But I digress...

Hindi naman nasagot ang tanong.... Ang tanong e kung sino sa amin (between Christian and I) ang babae?

Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung paano sasagutin ang tanong na yan...

Una: wala naman sa aming babae. Pareho kaming lalaki. Pareho kaming bakla. SO wala talagang babae; wala sa amin ang may kepyas, at wala sa amin ang may matres.

Pangalawa: Ano ba ang ibig sabihin ng pagiging babae sa isang relasyon? Sa kama, madali lang: top si Christian, bottom ako (alam nyo na yun, malalaki na kayo). There's the rare occassion na nagbabaliktad, but most of the time, ganun kame. Pero yun lang ba ang ibig sabihin ng pagiging babae sa isang relasyon?

Traditionally (meaning in a patriarchal set-up) the feminine role involves management of the household, taking care of the family, in short service with extra TLC. The masculine role involves mainly security (the one who brings in the money, defender of the home, etc etc).

But this distinction has been blurred ever since the women woke up and found themselves powerful; when the world woke up and saw the men as abusive.

In a relationship between two men... wouldn't you expect the roles to be more blurred? As each posseses characteristics from both the traditional male and female roles, how can one delineate the roles in a homosexual relationship?

In fact, a more relevant question would be: Are roles still relevant in a relationship (not just homosexual but heterosexual as well)?

So ask me again: sino ang babae sa amin ni Christian?

Ang tamang sagot: wala! Walang babae; pareho kaming bakla; pareho kaming lalaki na nagmamahal ng kapwa lalaki; pareho naming inaalagaan ang isa't isa; pareho namin sinusuportahan ang isa't isa.

Though just to set the record straight, mas malandi akoh!


Sunday, April 26, 2009

Tales from Beyond the Closet, Part 3: Pagdadalaga

I first had my man-crush when I was, I think, in 4th grade.

He was our class president and platoon leader (whatever you call the elader in boyscout), I was the section's muse (joke!). There's nothing so special about him, aside from the fact that he's got the leadership award in the bag. He's definitely personable and charming but he wasn't much of a looker. I remember looking at his photo at a bulletin board and saying to my friend "mas maganda pa ang ilong ko sa kanya (I've got a better nose than him)".

But the one good thing I remember about him is that he's got this perfectly shiny and straight hair. Back in 1994/1995 in my school, this Nick Carter hairstyle was all the rage and he's got it down to the last strand.

I guess he was a bit of a twink then too. I remember he got picked on by a lot of the guys (he even cried once) because some of the boys discovered he was wearing bikini briefs (which didn't become mor epopular until a few years later).

I honestly can't remember now why I liked him; probably because he was popular (?) but it's all lost to me now....

All I can remember are the embarrassing details moments of my burgeoning fabulosity!

We didn't talk much, but I remember gushing about him to my friends... We would all get kilig and then share stories of the other queens who's got their fangs bared my direction and are drooling all over him too.

Like most men, everyone was territorial, especially the little Miss Gays who's got their claws perfectly filed and ready for some action. There was around 4 to 5 gay groups (parang Spice Girls lang) then who had their own Queen and their entourage.

There was the notorious volleyball queen, the topnotch whiz kid (who's also gunning for the top bitch of the playground), there's a couple of other motley crews and then there was me and a bunch of friends.

Each and everyone of those queens were all after the same guy. Looking back now, the trashy catcalls during recess are all very laughable and petty.

Things got to a fever pitch in 5th grade when the volleyball bitch was caught doing the durrty. It was a shock in several levels: 1. who'd know a queer at the fresh age of 11 would be THAT advanced?; 2. We're in a Catholic school, sex is shocking enoughm but gay sex? It got the parish priests head spinning; 3. they were caught doing it inside a tent during our camping trip; 4. he was doing it with batch bully!

saya di ba?

Keri lang naman, until whiz kid bitch got his dirty hands all over MY boyscout...

My friend called me at home on a Saturday morning to report that boyscout and whiz kid were getting real chummy in some weekend class (MTAP I think, which I never went to)

Then the loyal subject reported that he heard whiz kid asking my best friend about me

Furthermore, whiz kid asked my best friend to tell me to stay away from MY boyscout!

I wasn't able to restrain myself and blurted outloud "AY naku, wala akong pakialam kung anong klaseng relasyon ang meron sila ni boyscout at whiz kid. Wag niya akong idamay sa panglalandi niya ng lalake no!"

Right after that my father and mother wnet up to me and said, "Anak, bakla ka ba?"

Natakot si bakla!!!

"Hindi noh!"

My father grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me hard, "Tumigil ka na ng pagsali-sali jan sa choir na yan!" He drew a threatening finger right up to my face and shouted, "Ikaw pag naging bakla ka, papasagasaan talaga kita sa jeep!!!"

Need I say more, convincing naman si itay...

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Storm (of stupidity) is Coming

Read this frist from McVie, reposting here with my thoughts.

* * *

From the BRILLIANT (feel the sarcasm?) guys @ National Organization for Marriage:

Funny or Die made a spoof of the ad, see below:

Well, it's funny in a silly way, but it fails to address the hilarity of the original ad, which I will try to do here:

First, DISCLAIMER: I am not from the States so hatever knowledge I have of their situation and political conditons is solely based on news and USA-based blogs I read. SO don;t quote me if you can't stand up for it :D

Let's dissect the ad's claims that, in my opinion, will not even pass ASC standards (hahaha!)

NOM says: "They want to bring the issue into my life"
I say: The conservatives have ben bringing their hetero-normative ideas into the lives of gay people creating FEAR and ANGER towards homosexuality to the extent that there are gay people around the world who are killed (or commit suicide) because of the unbearable social pressure against homosexuals. Isn't it about time that the oppresors (like NOM) experience what they have ben imposing on us?

NOM: "My Freedon will be taken away"
I say: How exactly? From a civil rights perspective, nobody's legal rights are being curtailed. In fact it is being EXPANDED so as to RESPECT THE FREEDOM of gay people like me.

I mean, we're the ones being condemned here. We're the ones who are legally not allowed to be united with our loved ones. So how does this affect the coservatives' freedom?

If Gay Marriage curtails their freedom from GAY BASHING and HATE CRIMES, well, isn't that a good thing? :)

NOM: "I'm a California Doctor who has to choose between my faith and my job"
I say: Why, coz your faith teaches you that if gay people come to you for a cure, you just go ahead and let them die? Is that REALLY the RIGHTEOUS thing to do? I mean, if you're FAITH is so narrow and so MORALLY CONFLICTING, well, isn't the choice (assuming you're aiming for the right one) quite obvious?

Besides, faith has nothing to do with you're being a doctor! You're just supposed to save lives. How can faith cause moral dilemmas when all you gotta do is save people's lives?

NOM: "I'm part of New Jersey Church group punished by the government because we can't support same sex marriage"
I say:
1. How are you punished exactly? any substantiation coz that sounds a bit too far fetched to believe.

2. You CAN'T or you WON'T support gay marriage? Coz I mean, if it's the ability (can or cannot) we're talking about here, again, it sounds a bit far fetched since support CAN be showed in several ways, it's dificult not to be capable of suporting something.

I feel that a more honest statement would be their organization WILL NOT support gay marriage. Coz really, when it comes to voluntary actions, it's nver the issue pf capability, just the party's WILLINGNESS to support it.


NOM: "I'm a Massachusets parent helplessly watching Public schools teach my son that gay marriage is OK"
I say:
1. You're not entirely helpless. If you don;t like what the school is teaching your kid then get him to another school, or better yet, home school him. You are never without options unless you choose to.

2. Gay Marriage is actually OK. It's the people like those with NOM that is the problem.

NOM: But we have hope a rainbow coalition... that is coming together IN LOVE to protect marriage...
I say:
1. How can they say that they come together in love when they are working to DEPRIVE gay people of their civil rights, their love, and their hapiness? It sounds pretty hateful to me.

2. How exactly does their conservatism protect marriage? I mean, if we're really after protecting the sacredness of marriage and preserving the family, then I guess the REAL enemy here is DIVORCE and NOT gay marriage.

All in all, the NOM ad, does not make any sense... AT ALL.

It's all a collection of vague and absurd claims that, upon scrutiny falters to follow logic.

In my opinion this is the problem with these people: They are just so selfish and stubborn. The conservatives will not open their minds! And the Liberals does not know how to push the right buttons.

ANd when I think of this, I am suddenly grateful that I'm in the Philippines.

I mean, I can kiss my boyfriend on the street and not get shot at by some crazy person with a gun.

I get to earn respect through my talents (whatever those are) and regardless of my sexuality.

I am in an industry where being gay actually works for me as an advantage.

And lastly, the Filipinos are more open minded

Thought for the day

Ang buhay daw ay parang gulong: minsan nasa taas, minsan nasa baba...

Pero ang gulong pag nakasagasa ng tae, nasa baba man o kahit nasa taas, may tae pa din.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Akwooohhh ang nagwagiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeehhhhh!!!!

Sabi nga ni Zsazsa Zaturnnah:

"Winner! Victoria!!! TAGUMPAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!"


Natapos na po ang botohan

At nagpasya na po ang RBP Panel...

Ang aking blog (itong binabasa mo ngayon) won RBP's Blog of the Week!!!


Marami pong salamat sa lahat ng bumoto at nagbasa ng mga kalokohan ko sa buhay

mwah mwah mwah!!!

Friday, April 17, 2009

Back to the 80's: a senti soundtrip

Dahil sa aking recent fascination sa version ni Britney ng "You Got it All", I'm suddenly thrown into an 80's soundtrip (basahin ang post ko dito)

Halina't balikan ang dekada ng ating kapanganakan at namnamin ang mga kantang hindi mo alam pero naaalala mo at kapag narinig mo e talaga namang parang kulangot na di maalis sa isip mo....

I personally don't find them cool... pero I don't know, lumalabas ang Videoke Queen inside me pag naririnig ko ang mga ito...

Una sa listahan, of course, ang You Got It All ng The Jets. Salamat ng madami kay Britney Spears sa muling pagbuhay sa aking interes sa mga kantang ganito.... parang Easter lang! ay! blasphemous!

It was released in 1987 from The Jets' self titled album. In fairness sa mga bakla, nag number 1 siya sa Billboard! O siya, tama na, click and enjoy:

Siyempre bago ako nag nostalgia attack, nauna muna ang Bebi ko sa kanyang addiction sa kanta ni Tiffany:

Hindi ko masyadong mahal at lalong hindi ko masyadong knows ang bilatchinang itey. I guess she's a one-hit-wonder. In fairness naman kay bakla, Ok naman ang kanta niya. Galing sa kanyang 2nd album, ito ang All This Time:

Ito namang kantang ito e narinig kong pinapatugtog sa office kaninang umaga. At inaamin ko, di ko napigilan ang sarili ko, I had to burst into song! hahaha

Technically, labas na siya sa 80's theme coz the single was released in 1991 from Wilson Phillips' self-titled debut album.

Pero kiber! Tunog 80s pa din kaya pasok sa banga! (walang kokontra) You're in Love, pakinggan niyo:

Siyempre, I saved the best for last...

Tuwing naririnig ko siya e mejo nagiging emotional ako... Siguro kasi na-feature siya sa isang episode ng Queer as Folk kung saan nag slowdance si Mike at ang boyfriend niyang si Ben.... awwww (season 4, episode 10 - hinanap ko talaga noh!)

Sorry na lang kayo... pero kinikilig talaga ako sa eksenang ito...

Now imagine the scene with this in the background, Can't Fight this Feeling:

Ang original na kumanta nga pala niyan ay REO Speedwagon and it came out in December 31, 1984 (halos kasing tanda ko a!)

Tama na... nagsesenti na ako...

Ano pang iniintay niyo!?! ilabas na ang videoke, beer at garlic mushroom!!!!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Pakshet ang init


mapapmura ka talga sa init ngaun...

kakaiba ang init

yung tipong kakatapos mo pa lang maligo e pinapawisan ka na agad

yung tipong binubudburan ka ng harina habang pinapawisan at ilang minuto pa lang sa labas ay para ka ng pinahiran ng paste sa lagkit

yung init na tipong namuo at ipinahid sa buong katawan mo

yung init na tipong pati eyeballs mo pinapawisan


sarap siguro nito:

lalo na kung ang mambabasa seio ay ito:

Oo na, Victor Basa na naman.

Kung ayaw niyo e di wag. Pwede din namang sa pool na lang kasama ito:

madali naman ako kausap!


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

On Soft-core gay porn disguised as indie films and blogging apathy

Recently, Migs of Manila Gay Guy featured yet another up and coming gay 'indie' titled "Heavenly Touch"

Now just by looking at the promotional photos and 'teaser', it was clear to me that THIS is going to be another one of those disappointing 'gay indie/art films'. Following the footsteps of movies like Sagwan, Daybreak, Walang Kawala, Lihim ni Antonio, and many more... Heavenly Touch promises to be nothing but a showcase of hard-bodied men cavorting in steamy soft-core gay porn scenes. And like its predecessors, Heavenly Touch so flimsily disguises itself as an 'indie/art film'...

And I am just so f*cking tired of movies like this...

On one hundred thrity peso-hard ons aka "gay indie movies"

Personally, I find it insulting. As a regular movie goer (who's at least fortunate enough to have gained some knowledge about the matter during my college years) I find this typeof movies an INSULT to my intellect and an INSULT to the gay community.

Ever since the emergence of the indie filmmaker, they have shown the country that there is art in despite humble production processes. And when it's popularity became widespread indie became equated (inevitably) with art.

Unfortunately, unbeknowst to the easily swayed indie patron, their love for the art was being abused by talentless and sleazy producers, directors, and writers (such as Joel Lamangan). They penetrate the patrons of indie films, selling their creations as art, whereas in truth, they are nothing but porn.

That is just cheap. These producers has to be stopped; they are destroying everything that the forerunners of the indie movement stood for.

We are not stupid, we see through the frail 'indie' disguise.

Movies like this Heavenly Touch were made with the sole intention of raising hard ons from the unsuspecting gay market. Wag na po tayong magtago sa likod ng imahen ng pagiging indie, ang nais lang naman ng mga pelikulang ito ay kunin ang pinaghirapang salapi ng mga bading kapalit ng pandaliang tigas. (sorry, for the language).

And recently, the pink market is just bombarded by despicable movies like this. What's more disturbing is that people are flocking to these movies! Whereas smart and beautifully crafted flicks like Queen Raquela barely has a decent number of audience

Is this what the gay community os all about: P130.00 hard ons? Don't we know better?

The case with MGG

So, with heart burning with passion, I wrote ths long-ish comment @ MGG:

Oliver wrote on 14. Apr 2009

sus eto na naman po tayo…

Wouldn’t it be easier (and interesting) if the producers just drop the “indie” and “film art” facade?

And why even bother with plots and narratives that, as we all know, at the end of the day, will not really matter and in all likelihood, does not have substance?

Wouldn’t be a refreshing change if the producers will just come out and say it as it is: Watch the movie because it has hot muscular guys in steamy gay scenes and there’s a high chance that Marco Morales will again give a cameo of his schlong!

I know I’m being cynical.. pero nakakapagod na kasi sumugod sa Robinson’s Indie Cine or sa UP Film Center, anticipate a GOOD gay film with substance, and end up watching soft core gay porn…

I mean, if I wanted to see porn, I could easily download it off the net. I wouldn’t have bothered going out of my way for an overpriced hard on.

And Migs, pasintabi lang po, wouldn’t you say that as ‘influential voices’ in the gay community, we should at least be critical (in whatever way we can) in promoting Gay flicks? wala lang, naisip ko lang…

Coz most of the time, I read about these movis in blogs…get all hyped up by all the blog buzz and then find it disappointing…

Again, pasintabi po sa mga nasagasaan, just giving my two cents…

To my amazement a lot of people have reacted to the post and a good number of them were actually reinforcing my POV!!!

However, to my great disappointment, Migs, owner of the site itself and author of the post replied:

migs wrote on 15. Apr 2009

Hi Oliver, unfortunately I do not take it upon myself to be a vanguard of anything just because some people consider me “influential.” Not that I shouldn’t be, it’s just my choice not to be. :)

I felt like I was punched in the gut. I was winded.

My thoughts on Migs' statement:

He won't be a vanguard of anything. I respect that. However, the mere act of featuring these movies are in a way indirectly endorsing them!

He won't be a vanguard of anything, and yet if you read some of his posts there some things he praises and some he condemns.

Example: he praises Zsazsa Zaturnnah (as do I) and exalts its brilliance. And advises his readers to leave the girls alone and not involve them in the messy affairs of gay men.

I feel like you can't be apathetic and at the same time have an opinion; it's either you're completely neutral or you choose to have an opinion.

His statement is like the movie itself. It's a promotion of the movie disguising itself as a neutral feature. He won't admit nor deny promoting the film. And yet, in the first place, he features the film in his blog! Then issues an apathy statement to disguise the fact that the blog entry is promoting the movie!

Well, I can't compete with MGG's traffic, I only have, what, 3 loyal readers? SO I guess in terms of influence, he'd be convincing more people that he is neutral than I.

You Got It All

It wasn't until a few days ago that I was able to download Britney's full discography. And I was surprised to find out that the former pop princess has a revival of the 1987 hit You Got It All from her Ooops... I Did it Again album!!!


You Got it All was the 1987 hit single of 80's pop family band The Jets. You may also remember them as the band behind another 80's hit Make It Real

And while I was listening to it, I was somehow reminded of my Bebi, who in a bout of his usual autism has recently developed an affinity if not total fandom to Tiffany (another 80s pop singer).

And in a more relevant theme, Christian also admitted, in a recent confession, that he can't get over this other guy I briefly dated prior to him (ridiculous, I know!!!).

So Bebi, I know you'll be reading my blog, ito ang pangtapat ko sa walang katapusang insecurity mo, at sa ridiculous obsession mo kay Tiffany:

And pay attention to the lyrics:

"You Got It All"


I was the game he would play
He brought the clouds to my day
Then like a ray of light
You came my way one night
Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
Put all your fears to rest
Who do I love the best
Don't you know
Don't you know

You've got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it's true
There's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call
You were out on a limb

And you're all that he's not
Just look what I've got
'Cause you've got it all
Over him
All over
You've got it all over
All over
You've got it all over

Now, don't let him worry you so
Once I met you
I let go
Oh you can surely see
You're so much more to me

Just one look and I knew
You would make everything clear
Make all the clouds disappear
You're better than all the rest
Who do I love the best (yeah...)
Don't you know
Don't you know

You've got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it's true (so true)
There's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call
You went out on a limb

And you're all that he's not (all that he's not)
Just look what I've got (look what I've got)
'Cause you've got it all (you've got it all)
All over him

You've got it all over him
You got me over him
Honey it's true (so true)
There's just you
You must have been heaven sent
Hearing me call
You went out on a limb (out on a limb

And you're all that he's not (all that he's not)
Just look what I've got (look what I've got)
'Cause you've got it all (you've got it all)
Over him

All over
You've got it all over
All over (uh, huh)
You've got it all over

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

REVIEW: The Amazing Truth About Queen Raquela

Last Sunday ay finally natupad na ang pangarap kong mapanood ang Queen Raquela...

Sobrang hirap humanap ng mauupuan... kasi lahat sila bakante!!!

There's like only 6 people inside the cinema watching the movie. And it's really sad coz like a sucky movie like, say for example, Push, is able to get a decent number of viewers only because of the sole virtue of Chris Evans' innate hotness:

OK, I admit I dragged my BF to watch the movie coz I was REALLY hoping he'd take off his shirt. Well, no luck there.

and the fascination of seeing Dakota Fanning as a teen.

When we watched Push, at least the cinema was hall full, whereas Raquela only had 6! fucking 6 viewers! How fucked up is that!?!

Well, so much for the Indie/art film market...

Here's what I think about Raquela:

It may not be exceptionally brilliant, but it was unique, heartbreakingly real and it's so honest it hurts. It's a bittersweet tale of one's struggle for the dream that was not for her.

The posters says it all:

A Cinderela Story

On the onset, you get the feeling of struggle. The struggle of the Transgendered was there, from the gay bashing to prostitution, to discrimination. But aside from that we also get a taste of the "typical" FIlipino/Thrid-world struggle: of poverty, the lack of opportunities and/or priviledges.

And the dream. Yes it's all about the dream. And for Racquela (and perhaps for majority of the misinformed Transgendered people as well) it was to be swept away by her Prince Charmng: a rich foreigner who will take her to the streets of Paris where she'd walk down and be fabulous...

And like yor typical Cinderella, she rises from her God-forsaken spot in the Earth and was given the opportunity to go to Europe, meet her Prince Charming, and stroll in the streets of Paris

Not Your Everyday Fairy Tale

Aside from the obvious twist that Raquela is transgendered, her dreams revealed to be far from ideal.

She reaches Iceland with the help of a half-asian trans girl she met online. But instead of her dream of living in a winter wonderland she is taken to a fish factory, she gets a 2nd job as a household help, and on top of it all, she was discouraged from getting her freak on!

Her NY-based employer, in a way, falls in love with her, buys her a ticket to Paris and gives her and all-expenses paid Parisian Vacation. However, she discovers that it takes more than money and a rich white guy for her to fall in love.

She ditches the yankee and tries to live her dream of parading down the streets of Paris... However, instead of getting jealous stares, she gets looks of insult.

She flies back to the Philippines; dreams asunder.

The Amazing Truth...

... is that this tale of awakening is not only true to the transgendered's case but can also be true for most of us.

It's all about dreaming... dreaming so hard that it hurts... dreaming so hard that one goes through hell and back for that dream... and then finally reaching your dream to find that one ends up in a nightmare.

What makes Raquela's tale much more heartwrenching was that she didn't have to go to hell, she was already in it. She had nothing but her dream. She was living her nightmare of a life for a dream which eventually will just leave her broken.

Queen Raquela, however sad, was an eye opener. To the ill-informed (such as I), this opened my eyes to the some of the bitter truths about transgendered girls in the philippines. And it also serves as a cautionary tale to the seekers of good fortune in foreign soil.

All in all, I'd give it 3 and half pink stars! :D

PS: t was such a heavy film that we watched Monsters vs Aliens right after! hehehe

Crying over Saigon

I was crying when I got to the office this morning.

Just a few minutes before tears rolled down my face, I was sweating as I walked across the overpass in front of our office compound.

Lea's voice was already tender; and in my head she sang:

You will be with you father now.
Give all your love to him when I am gone.

Take a last look at me,

Don't forget what you see

From now you must move on...

The people walking beside me was surprised when I exclaimed, "PAKSHET, ayan na!!!"

You will be who you want to be, you
Can choose whatever heaven grants

As long a syou can have your chance

I swear I'll give my life for you...

The hairs on my arms were standing on end...

No one will stop what I must do (dramatic pause)
My son, I'll give my life for you...

A few bars of tender flute...

Then follows the ghastly tolling of bells


The orchestra goes wild!

The strings sound as if they are on the brink of breaking, screeching notes so eery and haunting

The drums pound away with increasing speed

and then, PAK!

In my mind I was shouting: "HINDEEEEEEEEEEE"

And Simon was shouting "KIM!!! KIM!!!"

Heto na, nangingilid na luha ko... and Lea goes,

The gods have guided you to your son

And the music of "Sun and Moon" begins to play...

Manong guard opens the gate for me, I sniff as I greet him good morning.

"Please don't die," sabi ni Simon

Hold me one more time...
How in one night have we come (huling hugot ng hininga) so far...

And the strings swells!

My officemate looks at me puzzled.

Pakshet, takbo sa CR, punas ng uhog...

Miss Saigon just never ceases to move me...

Lea sings with such clarity and emotion... You can feel her anger in Room 317, you can feel the longing in I Still Believe, the desperation and the almost insane love in I'd Give My Life for You...

It goes on and on... pushing and pushing my emotions until you can take no more and you just wanna break down with sympathy for Kim.

I was only able to see it once (for free!) back in 2000 when I was still a senior in high school... and as I listen to it I feel the amazing stage spectacle... the tenderness.. and the pain and the drama...


It just cuts me open and make me bleed without end.

Blog of the Week @ RBP


I was completely blown away when I checked my morning email and found that Yffar has left a comment in my latest entry (see my Susan Boyle post). telling me that I am NOMINATED FOR BLOG OF THE WEEK @ RAINBOW BLOGGERS PHILS!!!


This is so exciting!!!

I hope you, dear readers, yes the two of you! (hahaha) vote for me!

Actually, I'm begging you to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote for my blog!!!

It's real easy, just heck the box next to "Nuninuninu" @ RBP:

Go visit the site here!!!

YYYYYYYYYYYYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!! Still can't get over the excitement!

Do check out the other nominees' blogs as well. They're all so good!

Pero CHECK OUT lang ha? Vote for me! hahaha (competitive!?! hahaha)

And tell your friends as well to read our blogs @ RBP (especially mine! hahaha)


Monday, April 13, 2009

The mindblowing audition of Susan Boyle

We all remember Paul Potts! His sensational win @ Britain's Got talent earned him his fame and (hopefully) his fortune, as well. He's got an album out and he's going around singing his arias...

But before he became a star, we all remeber Potts from his amazing audition at Britain's Got Talent...

A goofy-looking overweight man whose dream is to become an opera singer... Everyone's first thought was that he's gonna be a loony... then he opens his mouth and...

Oh hell, just watch it and refresh your memory:

And now, ladies and gentlegays, please meet Susan Boyle. SHe's a lot cookier than Paul Potts; this one definitely has character... and LOTS of it... From the interview alone, you can tell that she's cookie. Heck she's cookie on the stage, even!

But then... O MY FUCKING GOD... from the first note that she sang!

I'm in love!

I'm so in love with her voice and her disgustingly thick eyebrows! you hafta hafta hafta watch this:

UPDATE: ok, I'm in a bit of a glitch here, all the SUsan Boyle videos in youtube canot be embedded. darn!

well, I'll hafta find a way but for the meantime, do watch it here

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Tales from Beyond the Closet, Part 2: Growing Up

When I was young my mother would always tell me that I was smart. I couldn't play basketball if my life depended on it, they couldn't make me do anything physical and laborious, in short I was a pretty useless kid... but I was smart!

I couldn't do chores... but I was smart!

I can't do sports... but dammit I was smart!

My mother kept on repeating and repeating that until I finally believed her and I told myself that I was smart...

Among the cousins, I was the smart one... In the neighborhood, I was the smart kid, when we went to the province, I was the smart kid...

I was smart... until I went to school.

I went to this parochial all-boys catholic school in grade school. And back then, you were either a sports star, a genius, a boy scout leader, or a total spaz. Sports was totally out of the picture... As for boyscouting well, I was fat so NO. But the genius... I thought I could do genius... that is until I realized there were other kids smarter than I am.

Well, I got my merits and some honors here and there... but I wasn't the best. There was always another kid... and another... and another.. so the feeling instantly faded

And more and more, I fell into that obscure yet befitting category of a spaz.

When I got to the 4th grade, I had this classmate. and he introduced me to the wonderful world of the church choir...

Ahh the church choir, where we all hung out after classes to put on our best falcetto and imitate the Vienna Boys Choir and sing church music while being demoralized by scratchy-throated-verbally-abusive teacher.

I have found my niche... and at the same time, I've found friends; friends who have the same interest as I did: SAILORMOON

Before there was the Spice Girls, there was Sailor Moon... and we will play Sailor Moon after class and after choir practice on Wednesdays.

I remember it so vividly... while the others played sipa or dampa, we'd gather round talking about the Saturday's episode and we'd pick our characters... I was always Sailor Venus (yuh, I was malandi like that)

And while othrs were collecting NBA cards, I was at teh school gate buying banig after banig of Sailormoon cards!

Needless to say, those afternoons were my blossomming. I was 9 or 10, and I KNEW I was gay. I didn't really know what being gay was... but those feelings of being different now all boiled down to my being gay... and it was OK coz I had my own possie of gay kids who were JUST LIKE ME. We were 9-year-old kids in an all-boys school, and we knew we were the muses of the batch (hahaha)

Those were some of the most colorful days of my young life... I used to laugh a lot then... I forgot about what but those were good times

Excited to see Queen Raquela

Oooohhhh... I'm so excited!!!

Queen Racquela opened in the theaters yesterday (Robinson's movie world) and TODAY I am finally going to be able to watch it!!!

Wee!!! It's been making a splash across the globe and it's a shame how little acknowledgment it's getting from the Philippines...

Here's the cast and crew after winning the Teddy Awards last year (in the middle is Raquela herself, and the bald guy, I think, is director, Olaf De Fleur)

I've been itching to see it for some time now. I've been looking for torrents but alas, no such luck.

TODAY is a beautiful day coz I'll finally get t see Racquela! weee!

Please visit the movie's official site for more details (click on the link here)

Or read a brief description of the movie from Rainbow Bloggers Philippines here

Enjoy the trailer! mwahness!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

My Own Transmorphication

OK so I've totally done this before...

But I was REALLY missing my long curly locks so I thought I'd post it again in a more organized manner... after all, it's very amusing :D

Those who do not know any better ask me how often I get a perm... The answer is NEVER. I was born with naturally curly hair...

However, it wasn't until 2 years ago that I finally embraced my natural curls...

When I was growing up, the school that I then went to, a Catholic all-boys school, didn't allow longish hair. It has to be clean and well-cropped. So I grew up despising my curls that just won't stay put and has a curling life of its own. And for years and years I looked like this:

Yes, yes, yes... I was the fat dork with weird hair and glasses in grade school. I started wearing glasses when I was in 3rd/4th grade. And by that time, I already looked like a walking flesh balloon. It was during that time that I started losing my neck... I also became notoriously flamboyant during those years so you can just imagine what my life was like...

It was a really difficult time for me and the fact that I have no self-image didn't help!

At least things slightly improved when I got to high school. I lost a lotta weight and I kinda stuck to a hairstyle that was manageable and worked... Of course, my bones started settling in and the wearing of glasses really distorted the shape of my eyes... All the cuteness factor was gone and my face started looking a bit severe...

As you can see, by HS I got my neck back and my hair was, at the very least, not a big nest of a mess. Of course, I wasn't popular because of my looks. Gosh I was never the looker... But I sure miss weighing as light as I did back then... Of course when I was fifteen, I thought I was overweight... If could see myself now back then... haaay...

There wasn't much change when I was in college... Except perhaps I started wearing some tight-fitting clothes (hahahaha!) I still can't believe how SMALL my clothes were back then... (I was an XS - coz the retail cuts back then was all lose, or I'd wear XL women's shirts) What's more, I can't believe that I fit in those shirts! hahaha

Oh yeah... and I started wearing braces!

I didn't start rethinking my look until I got out of college and have started working. And it was during my first job that I started experimenting... At first it was just simply about growing my hair... and then when it got out of hand, I started using those relaxing creams which, initially, left me with burnt and scalded scalps! (ick!)

Well, my stint with GMA didn't last long... and by the time I was already undergoing training in MindShare, my hair was all abound (and dreadfully lifeless)

Well... it got to a point that it got so long, I was able to play with it

Well, after that, maintaining my hair everyday became a challenge. SO I had no choice but to tie it up. So for months, I got the ponytail look. By this time, I also got rid of the braces and it totally took away the dorky feel. I was finally able to smile freely! :)

That is, until I got tired of it and chopped the ponytail off... So what I got was a lanky bob...

It didn't last long coz in June of 2007, I stopped having my hair relaxed and went ahead with my natural curly locks. These were some of my earliest photos as a kulot

Well, back then, it was tricky getting my hair curled like that coz my hair was still suffering from the damaging relaxing chemicals... But then it totally grew out and voila! a year of bouncy curly glory:

I really enjoyed having such long unique crown of ringlets... And because of it's length, I sometimes played with it... (hehehe).

Here I am channeling a bit of Dianna Ross:

(it's an ugly photo, I know, but it's the only shot I got, so move on already!)

And here's me trying to be a bit Imeldific:

Anyway, I didn't go out looking like that. I'm not THAT fabulous to think that I can get away with it! hahaha.

But it was REALLY difficult to maintain. I blow dry it very single day and I can't sleep on it during the day otherwise it gets flat and lanky...

So... after our Dubai trip in June 2008, I decided to hack at it and get rid of all the hair!!!

And ever since then, I've been wearing it in all variations of short and curly... Well, I cut it short mainly for the interviews I was getting for the job hunting and because the heat was just insufferable and my ears miss the breeze...

Well, just a few months ago, I had my hair straightened right after my resignation.. you know, when you're a bum and got nothing to do, you just mess around with the hair a bit:

I have to say I enjoyed it... at least while it lasted coz the next morning it was all back to curls! hahaha

Then a week after that I had it colored... Originally, my hair color is that weird tint of reddish brown... probably because of the the hair drying and hair products that I use It just wouldn't stay black. I even dyed it black but it got lost after 2 weeks...

So this time I had it dyed light brown with some gold highlights... I'm just not sure it's discernible in photos though...

Well... now I'm getting of it all over again... and I miss being able to flip my hair :D...

SO I'm thinking of regrowing it to its former glorious length...

What do you think? Which look suits me more?

Should I go back to this?

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