Thursday, January 29, 2009

Being Gay, Is it a Choice?

Pretty interesting video:

Personally, I believe that homosexuality is indeed something one is born with. as for the biological explanations why how people become gay, well, I'm beat!

People may grow thiking they're straight but contrary to people's belief, people don't just 'turn' gay... people hide and when they get enough courage they come out... that's the long and short of it.

And no, I don't believe in ex-gays... once you've tasted c**k, there's just no turnin' back! look at all the whacked "straight trippers" out there... married or involved with a woman and secretl fooling around with guys....

haay, god help us with our struggles

Don't be afraid; live long enough to find the right one

Queerty recently had a pretty interesting post about gay ads and I just wanna repost some of the things that REALLY good:

This is a French PSA for World AIds day (I think, not sure when) which I first saw in someone's Multiply site (sorry, forgot who this person is) and downloaded in my iPod.

As per Queerty the end tag reads: "Live long enough to find the right one. Protect yourself" which is a REALLY good way to promote safe sex

I personally love the great visuals and the catchy song. And I can't find better words to describe this than the ones used by Queerty:

...heart-warming, funny and poignant. You can't help but identify with the hero of the ad, who goes from a doll-loving young boy to a young gay guy with horrible taste in guys...
I just feel so sympathetic to the kid's plight... enjoy!

No 2 is a Norwegian PSA. Now THIS is something I should have seen when I was still in elementary!!!

The producers REALLY got balls. The message is bold and the punchline is just so cutting edge (at least in my opinion)...

and I just love the copy at the last frame: "You don't need to be afraid". This is something so positive; to tell the world that homosexuality is NORMAL is just really so empowering. AND to take it even further, they use KIDS! I know, this will raise a lot of conservative FIlipino eyebrows BUT that is exactly the beauty of the ad!!!

I mean to just wake up one day and realize that you like guys (or girls pra sa mga kapatid nating lesbians) is actually NO BIG DEAL... It becomes a problem when people start telling you that there is soemthign wrong with you, that you are an abomination, that you are a freak...

Kids who realize they are gay during their adolescence are the ones that are faced with the GREATEST problems (I should know based on experience, right?)... It's hard to be tormented at such a vulnerable stage just for being TRUE TO YOURSELF... Imagine searching for your identity, finding it, and then suddenly the whole world tells you it's unacceptable. Sakit di ba?

So just for that, props to the makers of the ad! mwah!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Tyra's Gay for Pay Episode

A few days ago Tyra had a feature on Gay for Pay (straight men posing to be gay for money). And as useless, it got me thinking...

Just to set things straight (so to speak) lemme site what the ever-reliable (yuh!) Wiki has to say:

Gay-for-pay is a term used more commonly with male (and, less frequently, female) actors, pornographic stars, or sex workers that identify as heterosexual but are paid to act or perform gay professionally. The term has also applied to other professions and even companies with the same core concerns and criticism in place.[1][2] The stigma of being gay or labeled as such has steadily eroded since the Stonewall riots began the modern gay rights movement in 1969. Through the 1990s, mainstream movie and television actors have been more willing to portray homosexuality, as the threat of any backlash against their careers has lessened and society's acceptance of gay and lesbian people has increased.[3]

Here's the complete episode (thanks to to Megami 284 for uploading):

Segment 1:

Interviewee is Kurt Wild, claims he's straight but openly admits having sex with men on video for money.

Plus Notes:
1. Kurt is soooooooooooo cute. I just can't stp staring at his beautiful face!

2. Kurt gives a nice anecdote on how being a porn star affects his personal life (ie getting fired from Subway)
3. Tyra cites that being bottom does not necessarily correspond to being gay because this does not involve having an erection. (refreshing POV but quite arguable)

1. Kurt was just waay too nervous, defensive, and incoherent. REALLY, his interview was a bit of a waste
2. I feel like Tyra's attacking Kurt personally and the producers keep on inserting audience shots with negative facial expressions whenever they talk about Kurt being straight doing gay porn (REALLY suggestive juxtaposition, don't you think?)

Segment 2:

Interview with Aaron, also a 'straight' gay pornstar (who apparently has done scenes with Kurt) gives more straight forward answers and is more coherent.

Plus points:
1. He makes good arguments in defense of their careers: Gay porn pays better than straight porn...
2. Aaron gives good answers to arousal query: viagra and straight porn. (though I personally feel that THIS one is quite hard to swing...)
3. The best part of this segment is when Tyra talks to the mom. She's probably one of the sweetest moms ever! I just love what she said about how while she does not necessarily approve of her son's chosen career, on the other hand she accepts her son for who he s and for everything that he does that makes him happy.
4. Aaron is just waaaaayy to HOTT!!!

1. Tyra, tyra why are you attacking your guests? too much negativity when it comes to your guests' sexuality! what gives?

SIDEBAR: Aaron was also featured in MTV's True Life also for being Gay for Pay. watch it here.

Segment 3:

Bartenders! hmmm.... boring. Their jobs are less incriminating than the porn stars... I mean, c'mon: serving cocktails vs M2M sex! where's the comparison?

This gives the audience , though, a look at the scope of the term Gay for Pay (that it doesn't alsways involve SEX)

Segment 4:

An online model... this one is interesting but the man is just BLAND.

Love his girlfriend though. I quite agree with her when she says no one can do this type of work w/o being a little bisexual.

Girl exposes that she's also bisexual and fools round with girls. (WTF!?!) BUT she claims, in terms of hetero relations, she is only exclusive to his bf and he to her. I don't know how to say this but... that is just WHACKED!

Segment 5:

AND finally, people who have strong opinions about the negative implications of gay for pay jobs...

Here's what I think of the three:

Matt Sanchez (ex military, ex gay porn star) says gay for pay PORN will eventually haunt one in his latter years and might live to regret the things that one did. I agree... though this may NOT apply to the entire gamut of gay for pay careers (ie bartending)

Sean Kennedy (editor of Gay Publication The Advocate) says that Gay for Pay is detrimental to the community... That gays seek a watering hole where they can be safe and free from discrimination.. at the same time, Gay for Pay dudes reap the benefits of gay money and does not have to deal with all the issues when they punch out

Andy (an ex porn girl) also said that working in the industry is detrimental to the individual as it often leads to destructive activities/tendecies (ie drugs, etc etc) [hmmm... okay.]

The episode apparently raises 2 major questions:

1. Is gay for pay a bad thing? how does this affect the community?

2. Can a man really be gay for pay (play homo and still be straight)?

The show's bias on the abovementioned issues are, I would think, quite obvious. All you have to do is listen to the venom in Tyra's voice and the look at the glare on the audience's eyes...

MY THOUGHTS (DISCLAIMER: opinion lang po ito...)

on the nature of gay for pay

I think that opening the episode with pornstars has the tendency to overwhelm the audience's perecption on the whole gay for pay realm. As the definition earlier clearly states, the term covers a wide gamut of careers.

Whether or not pretending to be gay for money (or as a profession) is a bad thing, I'm honestly at the gray area. Was Kurt and Aaron's careers a bad move? I'm inclined to say yes BUT... solely on the basis that they are involved in the sex industry and NOT because they pretend to be gay. I feel that what they are doing is WRONG primarily because it is PORN. Matt, Sean, and Andy has good ideas about how PORN affects individuals.

However, I feel that PRETENDING to be gay (if only as a profession) does not necessarily mean it's a bad thing...

Acting, I would say, is one of the major careers that fall into this. How many 'straight' actors have we known portray gay characters? And yet, when gay folks see these films, the actors are, for the most part, celebrated (though sometime ridiculed). Just think of Sean Penn and James Franco in Milk, Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain, Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal in Y Tu Mama Tambien.

Most gay films usually have (moralistically) good things to say about/to gay people. And for that the actors are not shunned, they are celebrated for taking on such 'challenging' roles...

If this is so, then why scorn the bartender? It is of course his job to flirt (and gays enjoy flirting, I know I do, just for the fun of it) so he can make tips. As for the porn star, having sex is, well distasteful as it may be, his job. And why should people judge him when they know hat they are selling is a fantasy?

I agree with Matt and Andy's opinions about porn. But, again, that goes for porn alone... not for gay for pay...

Aaron, also raised a good point: people (in general) have problems with gay for pay because they have problems with homosexuals... Quite true. Because really, if we go right down to it, gay for pay is just good acting.

As for Sean's claim about the community's outrage for gay for pays, well, I'm not sure if it is real. Again, we all know that what these people are doing are their JOBS. People should at least have enough sense of mind NOT to fall for it.

I also don't feel that Gay for Pays don't get to deal with the gay issues when they punch out. Like it or not, the gays' reality is the base of their livelihood. SO whatever affects the community affects these workers like a bad batch of feed affects a flock and by extension the farmer. Kurt shows this clearly with his Subway anecdote

on the sexuality of individuals involved in gay for pay

The extent of 'pretention' to be gay highly depends on the job. For the bar tender, it is perfectly understandable that they could be straight. They are just mixing drinks for crying out loud! A person can be surrounded by gay people and remain straight! It's not like we cary the ebola!

HOWEVER, as for the porn stars, I am inclined to agree with the model's GF. I feel that you CAN'T be involved sexually with another man and NOT be bi at the slightest... It's just philosophically impossible for me when SEX is the very basis for one's gayness! right?

It's kinda related to the misconstrued and much fable 'gay-straight' relationship. And I take the same stand: how can a gay person get a 'straight' lover? If he's straight, he won't be able to get it on for another dude in the first place! But I'll talk about that separately.

Same with the porn star. Even with videos and viagra, it would take much more to get the penis erect especially with the bothering bussle of filming... As for bottoming, yes, it may not involve getting hard, but getting penetrated (especially when done repeatedly) takes more than 'zoning out'.

While Dr Margie Holmes may say that 'anal stimulation is normal for both straight people as well', I feel that it is common among straight people (especially men) to feel that being anally penetrated is the epitome of being violated (as a man). And if it is that 'unpleasurable' for a straight man, I would find it hard to believe if he can stand to do it for a living and remain straight...

As for Tyra, I'd say she still needs a lot of work on hosting... love hr as a model, but she really just looks so PLASTIC when she hots and feign that faux concern and sympathy... oh well, she's no Oprah, that's for sure.

What are your thoughts, dear readers?

Monday, January 26, 2009

REVIEW: Milk (2008)

Released in perfect socio-political timing, Milk is probably this year's most compelling Film.

Critics in the US have been raving about it for quite some time now and I can't wait to see it on the big screen. Fortunately, Christian was able to grab a clear DVD copy and I was able to see it while I'm crippled. hehehe

And here's what I think:

I love Milk because:

1. It's a movie about an openly gay man who managed (and I think the first) to be elected as public official in the US.

That in itself is very important. Quoting the movie: "Imagine, a gay man with power..."

And really, how many openly gay men are out there who are in power? How many gay men are in a position to effect positive change not only for the community but for everybody?

I'm not very familiar with Harvey Milk's story prior to this movie but this very premise is very inspiring... I mean, sure we've got gays in the government but they are not actually looking after the community's interests (which is ot very surprising in the RP)

2. The movie shows San Francisco in the late 70's when Harvey Milk led his battle for Gay rights. And it is released in perfect timing with the whole Proposition 8 issue.

In the past months, all eyes were on California when they passed Gay Marriage and several weeks later taken away by Proposition 8. And what this movie did was show a similar struggle, the gay community's fight for equality and civil rights...

And all the elements are there as well: a senator pushing for Prop 6 which will ban gay teachers and their supporters from school because according to this bill's reasoning, all gays are perverts. There's the devout Christian (no offense) who's so close minded that not only have they condmned the gays but the Muslims and the Jews as well.

The movie tackles it all in a way that is really emotionally involving.

3. The Production design is to DIE FOR!!! The film juxtaposed original 70s clips with the set shots and they look so amazing. The designers really got that 70s feel to the nail. There's none of the hippie exaggeration, it's so... 70s! hahahaha

4. James Franco and Diego Luna has kissing scenes! MY GOD!!! (with Sean Penn nga lang... pero pwede na din! hehehe)

Aside from the downright brilliance of the movie, it's all a bit oo heavy ad sad (lalo na siguro kung panoorin siya during the holidays). Fro the onset we know that Harvey will be assassinated... But when he actually got's like REALLY sad... I felt like it all ended with him...

Anyway, I loves it and you gotta watch it (gay or not) and learn something about equality and fighting for it...

Check this out for a more comprehensive review.


This was first posted here

Of coming out

"Olay! Manila Gay Guy? When did you come out????"

ugh... so far for the first message for my week... "OMG u didn't know?"

"Well, I didn't know you were open about it na... I just thought but had no confirmation"

early on a Monday morning and already and "uhh...." moment.

And it's kinda funny, coz I am OUT and I am open about it...

But... somehow... it still feels kinda uncomfortable...

I talk about my life, I post a lotta photos and blog about my love life... I am very vocal about my opinions on sexuality and discrimination... I mean, I suppose it should speak for itself...

And ever since I came out, nothing practically changed. I was still the same Oliver they all knew (except perhaps I was a bit more fun and happy). My College best friend even told me that since I came out, I lost this dark aura around me...

SO why do I feel uncomfortable?

OK so I didn't come out properly to ALL my friends... When I decided that I had to come out for Christian, I only told my closest friends...

Then again, what was I supposed to do, have a great big Gay Bash (as in party)? and announce than I'm into guys now? sounds kinda crazy...

BUT why does it feel so... odd when confronted by old friends?


I'm gay.

That shoulda been the end of it. NO questions asked. NO confirmations to be sought.

Vday date with Zsazsa confeermed!


SOmeone from TP finally contacted us (Christian and I) to confirm our resrevation for The Zaturnah Musical!!!


The Vday date is ON!!!

REALLY excited to see this... and there's been such great reviews from Migs @ MGG huweee!!!

AND to add to the hype, Carlo Vergara just posted this season's poster for the musical.

Check it out:

We'll be watching the Feb14 3pm show... see y'all there!

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Origin of Love

I just love this song...

There's something poetic about how it weaves mythology into love and at the very end put a very personal twist to it. And I especially love how he (somehow) justifies/normalizes gay love... actually it puts love in the center: whether hetero or homo, love is love...

Love the very last part.

Check out the music at my Multiply site.

Lyrics | - Origin Of Love lyrics

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Durex: Get it on!

This is just the funniest thing I've seen in days and I really REALLY gotta share this.

At first I was like... "OK... positions, how cliche... I hope there's a gay version" and then came the orange condom!!!

PANALO. I still can't stop laughing... I just LAAAAVVVV this one:

Monday, January 19, 2009

REVIEW: Get Real (1998)

This 1998 British gay coming of age film is probably one of the sweetest...

So here's the beef:

Remember when we were back in HS and everyone is a bit too amped up with the whole puberty thing... the lead character (Steven) finds himself dealing with his "secret identity" as an added drama to the whole complexity of teen life...

He goes to the park bathroom to "meet" other guys like him. Until he accidentally stumbles upon the campus jock (John) on the next stall... They tried to hook up. but John got all freaked out with being "gay"...

What ensues, of course is drama,,, they avoid each other... Steven's attempt at journalism goes to crap... his parents become disturbed by his behavior.. the usual symptoms of teen angst...

THEN comes prom night... Steven goes with his best friend/neighbor/fag hag Linda while John goes with a hot older woman.. This part has the best scenes:

1. When the stupid jock Kevin (desperate to get laid) hits on Linda. She's a bit fat and she knows it. she blows him off with real sassy-like saying: Just because I'm fat you think I'd be desperate to sleep with you, when you probably won't be able to get it up coz you're too pissed.. so NO, fuck off

2. When they all get to slow dance and Steven was with Linda and john was with his date and they end up looking at each other (the guys) instead of their girls (Steven ends up with a hard on. hahaha)

So, Linda and Steven goes home pissed at their fortunes and decided to have some late Mel Gibson marathon... while Steven was changing in his rom, he was surprised by John when he suddenly appeared on his doorway... and well, you know what happens next.

And thus begins their "secret relationship"... They meet discreetly which makes it all the more thrilling... This in turn lighten things up for both boys, their lives suddenly become more pleasant especially Steven...

Meanwhile, Steven is getting close to Stacey (?) his fellow staffer of the school magazine trying to play shoulder to cry on... Stacey, however made the mistake of falling for the dude and so drama ensues...

At the same time, John tries to put up a straight front and begins dating Christian (the hot older woman) He, however, kept this secret from his "lover" which, as one might predict, creates drama when the boy found out...

So Steven caught them right after a date when Christian dropped off John in his home... tears and hikbi galore, Steven gushes about how hard this is... and John responds (which REALLY made me kilig) "I really, really like her Steven...but... I love you..." (everybody now... awww....)

Thir relationship flourish after that and things become more happy... But of course it won;t be worth watching if it was that easy... Steven submits an "anonymous" article to the school magazine about growing up queer titled "Get Real". This spins off 2 ways;

1. Stacey finally wakes up and see that the boy likes other boys.. which also means that Steven will be a hot target aout the whole gay article (coz he's the only "weird" one in the staff)

2. Conflict ensues in the school coz the admin won't print it and the student body is soooo juiced up about it so it instantly becomes one of those "things you are not supposed to know but you'd know just the same because everyone will gossip about it"

This puts more tension to the 2 boys: While Steven is becoming more vocal about his being gay, John remains steadfast at being discreet and gives his lover a ultimatum: "Nobody has to know! Once anyone knows, it's off!!!" and yet they fall for each other all the more... haaay love!

Thing is Linda already knows about them AND Stacey has already figured it out on her own... Kevin, the stupid jock is also becoming suspicious so.. grrr...

It all boils down to the end of term finals which basically culminates in the athletic meet and scholastic awards...

The magazine is distributed and the school's a buzz with the identity of the brazen and newly outed gay student... John ans Steven are being a bit sloppy and they are beginning to get obvious... and don't forget the PARENTS... both their parents meet and the 2 guys haven't agreed on their alibi (John says they are not familiar, whil Steven says he spent the whole weekend at John's) so..,drama ensues...

The 2 boys took it to the locker room... Of course, LQ itey and may I dramatic walk out si John leaving Steven behind crying on his sweaty shirt... AND THEN Kevin the stupid jock walks in and see the crying scene... Steven was pinned to the lockers in a flinch! Thank god John came back for his stuff. He asked teh 2 to leave him and Steven and the 2 gays faked a beating...

OK na sana but then a teacher approached looking for Steven so Kevin walked in on them and SAW THEM being intimate (alam mo na, nose to nose na halos) so hat did John do? He shoved Steven and kicked him the gut...

CUT to the awards ceremony where John receives his medals and Steven is given the journalism award... ANd tru to being a drama queen, he sobbed his way through his speech and CAME OUT to the entire student body, the parents and the school!... to his surprise, he gets a standing ovation...

CUT to the scene afterwards where Steven is slumped on the bench Linda and Stacey with facial tissues (hilarity) then walks Kevin the dud and threatens Steven. The best part was when his Mom came and said "... and I am his MOTHER. and if you try to harm my son, I will ahve your bullocks for earrings!" (EYE LAV IT!)

Before going home, Steven paid his lover a visit who was smoking at the track... John was all mushy... which was really heartbreaking... seeing a beefy jock all broken down into tears and saying to another guy: "I have never felt like this for anyone... I love you, Steven.. I love you... but no one can know..." to which Steven replies: "Haven;t you understood what I did back there?" he stood up, pats the crying jock on he head and says "Be happy John" and leave shim sobbing on the bench..

TARAY!!! then comes Linda in her red top down with Aretha Franklin beltin "Think" on the stereo... what a snazzy ending....

Mahabang kuwento I know, but that's the only way I know how to talk about this movie... I like it.. it's a bit too melodramatic and overplayed in some parts but the emotions and circumstances are just sooo sincere and the fag hag Linda.. you gotta love how much SASS she brings into the movie...

And the ending... I love the ending... Steven leaving John... which is an indication that his character has grown... he has come out, he has overcome his fear and has won over his struggles and he figures how to love like a real man... don't stick to someone who can't be proud of you... coz it's just downright demeaning..

EYE LAV IT.. try to watch it.. it's a nice easy and light 2 hours

Good night, bebi

Masaya ako't binisita mo ako kahapon...

Lubos kong ikinatuwa na ipinagluto mo ako ng tanghalan... unang beses kong makatikim ng luto mo.

Nakakakilig at naalala mo na monthsary natin kahapon... nag-abala ka pa't dinalhan ako ng regalo.

Ilang araw na rin ang nakalipas mula nang huli kitang nakasama, nayakap at nahalikan... hindi mo alam kung gano kasarap marinig galing sa iyong mga labi na hinahanap hanap mo din ako...

Kinumpleto mo ang Linggo ko. Walang katumbas ang makasama ka at makatabi sa aking higaan... walang kasingsarap ang pakiramdam na matulog, kahit saglit, at makatabi ka... ang maramdaman ang mga braso mong nakayakap sakin, ang init ng katawan mo habang pareho tayong nahihimbing ng tulog...

At ngayong ako'y patulog na, yakap yakap ko ang unan na hinigaan mo, nananalangin na sana'y muli kang makatabi, hinahanap-hanap ang amoy mo ng sa mga huling saglit ng aking kamulatan ay ikaw ang aking makasama...

good night, bebi.

Saturday, January 17, 2009


I've finally found a purpose for my blog...

I noticed that some of my gay (gay-themed and/or gay-related) blogs in my Multiply aren't getting as much pageviews as my personal blogs (of course, the gay blogs are as personal to me as my other blogs).

So I'm migrating most of them to this site! Yey! I've started with some of my cross-postings... more to follow and more original content soon!


What's with the label?

Originally posted here

DISCLAIMER: Pasintabi po sa mga nabanggit na pangalan sa baba. wala pong personalan, all in the name of humor :


I ran across a very interesting post from Lex Bonife from his blog titled "Labels", and I quote:

Why do many players in the gay hook up scene play around with labels – “straight curious”, “bi-curious”, “straight tripper” and all permutations of “call-me-anything-except-gay-man”? Isn’t this just a sign that we actually dislike our own selves?

Which got me thinking... bakit nga ba?

When I was in the hospital, I've been amusing myself with the kalurky pink book "Mga Kuwentong Parlor ni Wanda Ilusyunada" (which is a REALLY nice read if you can get past the "overt gayness")


Heniwei, He has a post which is pretty related to Lex's question (check it out here: where he attempts to define these so-called labels...

To a certain extent I feel that the use of these labels within the community has its purpose. The LGBT (Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, and Transgenders) community is diverse and to some point, I guess people would have to have some way of breaking down this diversity into smaller, chewable parts...

That is why there are term such as those that we use to classify people in the community:

(Terms used as per Wanda, I'm just putting in some bits of my own)
Parlorista The typical gay man we grew up to see portrayed by Roderick Paulate in old Pinoy movies... They are the Ricky Reyes of the world. Proud mommas, berdeng berde ang dugo at pulang pula ang hasang. Mostly effeminate and flamboyant, these days not all of them, though, are in Parlors, mind you...

Basically gays who are in the closet and are trying to hide their true self from the world (this type has a lot of bearing on Lex's post, but I'll discuss that later). There's a common misconception that straight-acting=closetta. (Ex: Papa Piolo and Sam Milby! hahahaha) Maraming closet case ang halata ng bading ayaw pa umamin

Put simply, THESE are the straight-acting gays. They may be out or closetted (depende) but whatever the case, they are not pre-disposed to be effeminate or flamboyant (maybe on certain occassions lang). (Ex:, International naman:

Reichen Lemkuhl (of Amazing Race fame ex BF to Lance Bass)

Mark Feehily (from Irish boyband Westlife BF of Kevin McDaid)

AAAAAAAAAAAAANNNND Sam Milby better Half of Papa Piolo (charoz!)

Silahis These guys have the best of both worlds... They can get it "up" for both men and women. Now, I personally haven't met a true-blue bisexual dude. Most often than not being bisexual is just a phase for closet cases prior to coming out and becoming full-fledged followers of faggotry (hehe) Though, ayon sa kalakhang pandaigdigang sapot, ang mga sumusunod na celebrities ay bisexual:

1940's actress of the silver screen Marlene Dietrich

The once bad-ass, brother kissing now better half of Brad Pitt (lucky bitch) Angelina Jolie

Cross dresser aka Transvestite aka Dragona
These are guys, who basically love wearing women's clothes (or vice versa) pasok dito ang mga bongang bongang dragonang naglipana sa Glorietta at Greenbelt 3... (peace)

Sila naman ang mga kawawang nilalang (and I don't mean this as a joke) who feels like they are trapped in the wrong body and has the urge to become the opposite sex. NOT all are in drag and not all may have surgery. Perfect example dito ang beautiful boxer (Parinya Charoenphol):

O di ba? bonga!

Pero mabalik tayo sa tanong ni Lex...

Ano ang mga Straight-tripper? ano ang bi-curious? at ano ang straight curious?

Ayon sa aking mga napagtanungan (hindi ko ire-reveal kung sinu-sino):

straight-tripper ay isang "straight" na lalaki na nakikipag-sex sa kapwa niya lalaki dahil "trip lang niya" therefore it's just s-e-x no strings attached...

bi-curious/straight-curious ay mga "bi"/"straight" na pumapatol sa kapwa nila lalaki dahil "curious" lang sila...

So, ayon sa mga taong ito, hindi sila gay or bi or any of the terms mentioned... and according to these guys... there's a difference...


At this point, I wanna go back to one of the earlier terms mentioned: CLOSETTA

Contrary to Lex's theory that this is a manifestation of self-hate, I believe this is a case of self-denial (as in hiding in the closet) and/or a manifestation of a complex "outing"...

These people just don't want to be called "gay" or "bi" for reasons I wouldn't even try to fathom. Personally, I feel that people don't want to be labeled as such because of the stereotypes attached to such labels...

And I think it is FEAR of being sterotyped that is driving these people to segregate themselves from people much like themselves and create a "sub group" or an illusion of a "sub group". and hence, even blurring and/or complicating their Self-identity

SUch as it is, let's not HATE people... cool lang...

BUT since we are trying to embrace diversity, instead of shunning such people, I feel that it is the comunity's ability to assimilate that will (eventually) help these individuals to come out of such obscurity of identity (at least on the individual level)...

Going out of the closet is very difficult (don't I know it?) and I feel that, annoying as it may be to some, such labels and/or ideas will continue to emerge. For as long as our culture is bigoted and judgmental, for as long as we subscrie to conservative ways of thinking, the journey towards self-discovery (and ultimately self-acceptance) will always be a challenge.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Another thing to get excited about:

"The Thank You Girls" will be shown in Robinson's Indiesine!

Got the good news from Armi, who also happens to be the production designer, (read here)

It's gonna start regular screening starting Jan 21 to 27.

I wanted to watch this last year but yet again, schedule constraints.. so this REALLY is great news! I just hope I'd be able to walk by then. Otherwise, I'd have to wheel myself to the cinema! hahaha...

Why so excited about it? There's a few unique things I like about it, actually:

1. It's a comedy: a lot of gay flicks came out last year, and as far as I can remember (of course don't quote me, hindi ko nman napagalaman LAHAT ng lumabas) most of the films that came out are a bit on the heavy side (eg Lihim ni Antonio, Daybreak, Quicktrip, etc etc etc)

2. It's drag queens on a beauty pageant! I mean c'mon! Think "To Wong Foo...", Think "Hedwig and the Angry Inch", think "Queen of the Desert"... Drag is always entertaining. PERIOD

3. It does NOT revolve around sex (for a change - and a good one at that!) I mean, nothing against the local Gay movies but REALLY, does everything have to be about or involve sex??? Of course, it's titilating, it draws in an audience, and let's face it, the sex scenes and the hunky stars is an interest shared by most of the gay population... Not that gay movies revolving around sex aren't good... some are good... then some that are pretty BAD (not in a good way)... I mean sometimes, they forget to inject the STORY! so this one, is totally a refreshing theme!

4. And most importantly, it has a pretty interesting premise (please read the synopsis from Armi's site)

If you're not yet convinced, check out the ff videos:

bonga di ba?

Zo hard to get ze teeketsss!

YESSS we are definitely going gaga over the 2009 staging of Zsazsa Zaturnnah...

Apparently getting the tickets will be more more difficult than we'd hope it would be.... As mentioned by Carlo Vergara, creator of Zsazsa Zaturnnah, in his Multiply blog there's not going to be a Ticketnet or Ticketworld for this staging... and aparently the easiest way to get a hold of thos tickets is by contacting Tanghalang Pilipino directly:

Zaturnnah Musical 2009: How To Reserve Tickets
Wow. I got in touch with Tanghalang Pilipino (TP) and they said that almost all 15 shows have already been bought by show buyers who will be selling the tickets. This means that there's not one single dealer of tickets. To make reserving your tickets a little easier for you, you can call Lorelei or Paolo at TP: 832-1125 loc. 1620 to 1621 Direct Line 832-3661 Or you can contact Lorelei through 09285518645.
SO heniwei, I spent much of my yesterday on the phone contacting my therapist, Mdical CIty and THESE GUYS...

Man! they are hard to find...

Christian and I alternatingly gave it a go to no success. Finally I was able to speak to one of them later on in the day. The person on the other line was actually couteous. He took my contact info, name, number, relationship status (JOWK hehehe) and then said I asked:

"So, paano ko makukuha yung tickets? And paano yung paymen?"

He answered, "Um, sir kokontakin na lang po nila kayo about it..."

Me: "Ummm... OK, sino sila?"

He: "Yung show buyers po"

I hung up... that was TOTALLY weird...

SO, it's like saying... "Thank you sir for showing interest in our stage play... we will rpocess your request and get back to you if we deem you worthy to watch it. Thanks"


Thursday, January 15, 2009

Their weddings, my eventual Funeral

I was YM-ing with an old office friend a few days ago. She was one of the video editors I used to work with way back (as eeef namen ganun katagal, neh?) when I was in GMA.

There was the usual kamustahan cheverlou. And we got to talking about a recent post I saw in Multiply: Ina's wedding! Well, it was really no surprise, I told her, those two have been together for like ages...

And THAT's when she dropped the bomb and gave me a roll call of all the people we know who's getting married: She and Jude in 2011, Hazel and Mac in 2010, Gen R and her BF (forgot the name) this May... and then there's Gwen and her new BF to get hitched on 2011, my cousin Cindy anf Jeff next year, my cousin Eric and wifey got hitched, preggers, and plopped a baby just last year... and my college and HS friends as well! Pau is about to plop another baby... Gladys got hitched and now has a baby... Ella, Luthy, and a bunch more got hitched and bred...

My head's spinning from the wedding bells... ugh...

Seems like EVERYBODY my age's getting hitched or having kids... and it's depressing... and I hate it. I don't want to begrudge my friends and family of their happiness.. but there you have it, I'm a bit sour...

And why wouldn't I feel this way? I too have dreams of wearing the most dapper-looking barong, going down the altar and committing myself to the love of my life... only I CAN'T... coz people like me can't get married...

Hindi na ako aangal... pero nevertheless, it's still very sad... Yes, we can still have deep long term relationships, have commitment ceremonies, but it will never be recognized as a legal union...

Sabi nga sa Get Real (read review here), "It's just love... What is everybody so afraid of?"

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Zsazsa Zaturnnah ze Muzikal is vaaaacck!


Just read the feed from MGG, the sched for 2009 staging of ZSAZSA ZATURNNAH ZE MUZIKAL is finally in!!!

Here's the sched as per CCP's webbie:

February 6 at 8:00 pm (Gala Night)
February 7 & 14 at 3:00 pm & 8:00 pm
February 8 & 15 at 3:00 pm
February 13 at 8:00 pm
Tanghalang Aurelio Tolentino
(CCP Little Theater)

Exciting divine? check Migs' article (see link above) for contact info!


Rampa with a Walker

SO now I'm able to walk (as much a walk as it is) limping every other step with the aid of the crutches we brought home from the hospital.

Been limping around the house since Monday... thank god Cindy, one of my cousins, took pity on me and (with some persuasion helped my mom canvass for wheel chairs, walkers, and other such stuff AAAAAAAAAAANNNND they bought me a shiny new walker!!! yehey!!!

It was soo nice, it has 2 wheels, it folds, I was hoping for a pink one with glitters and tassles (hahaha joke) though the aluminum and gray ain't so bad. hehehe.

I felt so empowered with th walker I thought I'd be ready to go to work by next week!

So, being cocky, adventurous and unfathomably bored, I took the shiny new toy for a spin this afternoon! After my mom finished with some errands we decided to hit the mall! In my mind, I was like, THE MALL!!! AT LONG LAST a healthy waft of shopping in the air!!

And for the first time in weeks I'm finaly able to g out of the house without 2 of my largest cousins hauling my weight out of the front door! BUT I didn't realize I'd be facing a series of challenges:

FIRST CHALLENGE: get my ass to the main street and get a cab... Dati, when I get out of the house, I usually put on my darkest sunglasses and rampa my way out of the street... now that I walk at 5 meter per hour, that stretch of concrete and asphalt seems so loooooooooonngg... It was so difficult for me to get the stretch of it that the taxi prefered to go inside the narrow street after waiting for me for 5 minutes to get to the main street...

2ND CHALENGE: The stupidest thing.... I forgot to pee before leaving the house. NATURALLY, my bladder was about to burst the moment we got to the mall. JOZME!!! di ko nman narealize na malayo nga pla ang mga CR sa mall... not to mention malayo din ang mga elevator from the CRs... so how do I actually survive the mall?

Ang sagot... hindi ko na-survive ang mall! hahahaha... everyone's just moving sooooo fast! and they are just staring at me (and that's the most disturbing part) hirap n ako lumakad, ang bagal ko pa (as in lusis na lang santa cruzan na!) tapos lahat pa sila nakatitig sakin... sobrang damang dama ko na imbalido ako...

hu-well... mejo totoo naman talaga yun... ang nakakainis nun, ay di ako nagtagal
5 mins inside the mall and i've barely left point A... balak ko pa naman sana magshopping ng onti at tingnan ang pinapangarap kong phone...

haaay. ayun take out ng lunch ang drama may i go out the mall and uwi agad! wahahaha...

grabe! ngaun ko lang naappreciate ng lubusan kung gaano kasarap maglakad... lalo na ang rumampa with matching "when I grow up" blasting in my ears! hehehe


My Treat :D

Who knew that being on a "forced" vacation would eventually become a drag?

Since the start of the year, I've been a bit down due to my condition... and REALLY, it's just so f*cking depressing!

THEN one day while blogshopping (as always, ano pa ba ang kayang gawin ng baldadong tulad koh,davah?), i saw this item for sale on multiply:

I did a double take seeing the price and told myself, "hu-we-hell... why naaht?"

I thought.. well.. since it's been REALLY crappy being stuck inside the house for ages... AND I have been improving lately... i decided to TREAT myself!!! whoopee!

The transaction was quite easy and quick and after 2 days, jan-janaraaan! may I knock on the door si Mr Air21 guy with my treat to myself!

Ang gandah oh:

HANGSAYASAYA! Although, to be honest, mas gusto ko pa din ung orig earphones ng ipod, though. hehehe.

Well, at least something to lift up my spirits while I'm on recovery...

Monday, January 12, 2009

the price of walking


ang bilis ng karma...

nakaklakad n nga ako para namang kinakalantog ang ul ko sa sakit


I've been feeling nauseous since last night and I've got a throbbing headache... and every single noise just seem to make it worse...

the fact that I live with a very noisy extended family does not help at all...

someone please chop my head off...

I gotta stop blogging now... I think I'm gonna hurl

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Taking my life back... and loving it!

If you've followed my blog in Multiply, then I'm sure you're quite aware that I haven't been well for a while.

You can read about it here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and (finally) here. (My god, I've been ranting a lot...)

If 7 blogs are too much for you, here's the quick version: I suffered from major pain in my left hip which according to my doctors was caused by a
slipped disc. It was so painful, in fact, that I was confined in hospital for 12 days and spent most of the Holidays immobile. My doctors kept me on meds but since the progress was REALLY slow, we were beginning to entertain the fact that I'm gonna get an operation. So while we were taking care of additional tests (EMG-NCV and MRI) I just kept on with my meds and daily practice...

SO now finally I've got MORE news on the matter and I'm posting it HERE FIRST!
(ain't dat cewl!?!)

Firstly, I grabbed my MRI photos!!! (jumping up and down - theoretically - here for excitement) It was my first time to get an MRI (and boy was it expensive!!! Thanks god for Healthcards). The process of getting one is a bit dull... but when we got the results and the CD that goes with it, my cousins and I were like "woah... coooool..." Whoever invented it was REALLY smart!

Check these out:

Cool huh? It's better when u can actually them move it's like seeing my internal organs and the insides of my internal organs!!!! How cool is that!?! I'm still geeking out! hehehe

BUT it does not stop there... My mom took this and the EMG-NCV results to my doctor and they cam back with REALLY good news!!! It appears that I will no longer be needing the discectomy!!! huweeeee!!

By some unknown MIRACLE,
my MRI scans turned out to be NORMAL!!! The hernia they saw in my CT Scan was suddenly not there! I mean, isn't that just the coolest? My EMG-NCV results showed abnormalities on both left and right nerves. But NOT having surgery totally stomps this step back! I'm just soooo glad that they wouldn't have to crack open my back!!!

I will still need to undergo rehab and see a therapist for at least 2 weeks. They also gave me new meds so I'm off the old painkillers. :D AAAANNDDD the good news is, I can now start taking my life back. My doctor said that I can get back to work as soon as I get my strength up (though I'm not so sure this part is still part of the good news. hehehe).


The miracle does not end there!!! Just this afternoon, as I was rolling around the kitchen on my swivel chair, I suddenly felt the urge to try and take a few steps... and miracle of miracles I was able to!!! And I've ben walking around the house the whole afternoon on crutches!!! YEY!!!

Of course I still can't sustain it for long, and I have to sit down after a few minutes... BUT this soo totally awesome! I thought I'd be going to work on a wheelchair!!! Crutches stomp wheelchair anytime of the day.

ANd you know what this means... In a few days with therapy I'd be able to walk completely and THEN I'd have my life back! Oh this just feels so GREAT!!!

I can't wait to be back in the malls and go shopping... I can't wait to walk outside. My god, I didn't think I'd miss WALKING this much!

Yes... tonight I'll defintely be saying a prayer of thanks...

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